an odd familiar case.

caress the gilded star, at one at last, undo it
a folder holds dearest twisted shadows of yesterday
lovers faces unconfined by chapters of forgiveness
a lost lamb whose flood gates once thought at drought
a dreadnought of disciplined pain at odds with a deck of cards
so many ticks give you away, your soul draws you to the mass
one where the Sunday came with clarity, listen and pierce the veil

to draft a diagnostic the sun must place flip the megalomania
the smothering act of breathing conveys sadness
throws down shade to sea in ruins that I once held under control
firmly, strictly under lock and key and rather tricky to orchestrate
a victimless crime of omission knows not pause
the bogeymen of old were at least honest
they came to sequestrate, maim and rectify the mistake of living
more that meets the third eye, do be polite and take heed
lock the door and hide under the bed sheets

accelerate the selfish machine that pretends to fuel my sunshine
make it boil, torment it deeply and see it implode,
become dizzy with this fever, cold for my fire has ran out
somehow the heartless are afoot on the streets that lurk beneath
like cockroaches on the walls they surprise, outlive and murk about
marking your house round the block, a pirate does not forget nor forgive
and that very hook will dangle thy feet like a salted fish gets gutted prior
to the wind scarce guts reach, bones and a loosen tongue perhaps

a pestilence thrown chop my fingers, eat my throat, say it is a treat
hesitate and know my coping device reconciles joints with fractures
popping off pressure, applying cold iron to exorcise holy presence
this vest ain't a corset and the kids got issues prayers cannot devour

tar curtains cannot trap wild fire and it is foolish to deny
benevolent guardian I wish you didn't disappear over Winter Hill
no matter what fortitude can death attribute to thy works
your surrender aches still, ever so tender
these white flakes aren't snow, back off me.

I greed not for advise, oblivion has a cure encased in glass
tapping away now, hoping to perforate in mild distress
should a vigilant sentry knock out all my teeth
make me feast in blood through a straw, take a wild guess
fiction holds a charming spell to snare a soul under duress
it might just fucking dispel the discontent, sneezing, sneering.

You the fallen one, the one without a name, the one that met God.

the moist tip of my nose itches
my index finger presses on my eye globe
searching unto the socket for want of to do
feel the callous rub the iris
pushin' it firmly like it is the first time
recognizing a sensation, felt lost
cut off by the root, ignited by the wild waste
awaiting the pain, trembling in shame
an accountability to doubt placated by sound
be it the shouts, kings too merge in fantasy
safe travels met in silent whispers run amok
of our sorry state, nonetheless,
an idea cannot be exterminated
easily.

mold the ground, thy passage a myth
the fluctuation of the reference maddening (truly)
the fallen forest comes alive, erupt branches
sudden bloom springs into song, my head nests
birds of prey seek my liver and I am willing
shelter and shade, nurture and leisure
sustaining this p-perfect state makes one camp
gloriously satisfied to the core, accursed to quit it
the fires nightmare and the flesh a fair trade-off
little prince caress not hate, take guard against hostility
tough love is a thorn in my spine firm still
and no amount of alcohol can dilute the lesser man
I could never aspire to be, a foreshadow of projects past
nor the shadow of those that smelted me, goddammit
to erase ones essence is suicide in a swirling chasm of hate
and I swear I sought hard to be different, stronger despite the fact
the fissure on my reflection, my whole being a descent into the unknown
sought to aid another hopeful the product would feed a distraction
to the beast within there is only known opportunity, ever vigilant

a hummingbird sank my sleep effortlessly, am I dreaming again?
the pull drafts me anew, truly my calling come midnight
a murderer stands trial only once, no parole conceded, to the nines
a free solo that came to a close, slippery feet renew faith
and you might think you are in love, a trope of filthy cliche
and mellows like a poorly aged wine takes solace in the majority vote
resorted to a tutu, a distraction, 'yes' to us all will suffocate the euphoric
you lost the game that you hadn't paid for, yet.

Blindspots

once known a perfect man
permanent and suave, a statue
of determination and compassion
no stones unraveled, hands built houses
wiped off children tears and consoled all
snuggled words, coy and uplifting
to find his secret was shattering
 the impact on which I have yet to recover
fully understood, digested akin to his thrown
the cracks in his tempered armor akin to rapture
the ages themselves froze my anguish
what to do? shivers and general state of panic

the blinds are down, the light dim
the sunlight is exhausting and deepening
in the measure of feeding sadness
creeps through me eating away
at the cage bars relentless, starving
eager to shake off the sores of stillness
to hold that thought entirely
suspend the breakdown and regain control
intervene anew, positive that completion is key
whatever caused it, I'll outlive it stronger

however bitter, raw and crude
disfigured and scarred
sweeter whispers within the closet
clawed by demons that chose to hide inside

one should not be foiled by digital disregard
nor the starry nights caused by fireworks
or the blabber of spitfire words
anent my heart, stand by the knockdown
hitting the deck is a gift
the blind-spots of picking up deep
solace in friends and whatever rings true
a thunderstorm under my skin
ragged by words in turmoil
so the music will have to do
the promise will have to hold
my better side will have to shine through.

wish the big bad wolf had eaten me whole.

"Stay, don't go,

I'll eat you up, I love you so."

Beneath the chambers of my deposed home

where dementia has sicken back a notch

the nauseating feeling the accursed sky has turned bright yellow below the Moon

on a season past the capacity to build, this cracked hands worked 'till dusk son

or so he told me so, whipping me forward, instilling drive but never love

this and other references pierce me in vain, detached and barren

much akin to my bone structure, the stubbornness alone contorts my hair curls so

'bitten your tongue wasting time

apprehensive 'cos your heart is under duress

the call of the womb keeps the beat on lock down

ain't the devil scratching your glass window? oh nonono

you lose.

the grove by your side, awaiting at the finish line, danger oh nono

a soldier can obfuscate the paranoia, the batshit crazy vibrations

bombs take lives like oil got any worth, get the press here somehow

prayers for the dearest, the bold and those wanted by silver bullets

in my dreams I can kill You, you're the one leaping, escaping,

calling me.

abduct my guiding light and spoon feed me please

I feel it coming now, pushing inside outside

cement to my resolve, a blend of tratata sooo soft

I do not possess ticks, I copycat those that rescue my attention

terribly to the unfortunate shiver I ought to try until...

until, just until I get it.'

Today I felt a chill

stroke gold and traveled in-between

the locks of mere child and youth laughter

felt hopeful and willing to sacrifice and take upon

parenthood, to change and become better

despite the sadness, the disappointment

the urgency to twist her arm

drag her over the finishing line

take upon her hurt and eat her whole

unfathomable arrogance, a disgrace

to deny ones struggles is to despair

in reluctant impatience and in vain

I'll be knocking (not down) doors

awaiting my turn, hand raised high

awaiting my turn, wishing Time itself collapsed

to trap the electricity that jolt us bind, rope and cage

for everyone at a given time told me to go

and all I wanted to, running nose twisted over my shoulder

was to feel loved as an equal and hear them say:

"Stay, don't go,

I'll eat you up, I love you so."

the reliable source opens the airways.

whose stranger captured your heart so
opened the cavity forcefully, took it away from me
even exposed to the sun I feel a chill, growing remorse
I don't seem to know who I am to you anymore,
beaten off my system, cough choke implode sunshine
Melodies ajar on my eardrums string my guilt
executioner and jury alone judging myself, I am guilty (indeed)

Rubbed my restrictive shoes in pale laces to be hidden, guilty.
Neurotic and confused, a stark realization many a feet above, somewhere
off where the breeze caresses my naked back and the mind leaps
from wonder to beauty back to the streets where we dreamt of flying all the same
realize that I too could let go and hang by a sturdy thread, sewing my arm
Sawing it off whilst sleep talking out of this lullaby, sew it back darling, rapidly
in fear you might condemn by prejudice what will transpire, do not follow
do not comply, take your meds and look the other way.

underline what is missing,
IT HAS! been days in succession, a collective arms race
to be felt, better, in my opinion, used as subtle ammunition
against my psyche notwithstanding, which one tends to dislike
being under assault, siege, attack! stab-stab-stab
alas, I wake up.

Did I ever get to know you
or was the momentum one of opened window
sea bound, stars aligned and all.
spread wings and farewell to this ol' strange me
ad along these pieces I fall sinking under alarm
one in a million someone said,
owned to the clutch of sleep stalking.
 

Cleave the atmosphere of an interview under candlelight, be gentle and forgive.

I used to survive on the delusion that God was a pinball fanatic
bouncing stars and human souls akin to a stroke of luck
And victory would comply with a better place someday
to serve and willful, a role with clear purpose, hallelujah.

Eventually, anyway, my eyelashes were ripped open
as my twin petrified me with a fork, a near miss display
of lesser skill and accuracy with intent to maim, kill, avenge
worse offenses taken place to an animal without equal, hurt
and that pain can be culled over the dinner table, embraced
in rancor, encouraging a pretense that spells downfall
Cleave this atmosphere of an interview under the light doc,
I ain't about pleasantries, gravity takes a toll, burned out.

No longer a partner in crime, a pal singing in defiance to the choir
Probably for the best, scars smear trills in the skin

A canyon that blood flow cannot revert,
pretty please shooting star, mister White
erase this blurred memories
ants been nabbing them by the root
and neglect taken guard too, trust me.

That does taste like something I would say
packed my shit and left. Burned a tear soaked letter
with your last cigarette under the caress of a thunderstorm

the window broke and drove to the cleanest
decapitation by the wind sill
or so I was informed,
the glory mere wrinkles on those that grow old
a conspiracy that twinkles on her wink

let's be honest, I am better now
and I resent it deeply, stings of fear
_________________________________________________________________________________

Let myself down slowly because it hurts

less when the eyes do not connect
not quite ideal but here we be
All the same in permanent rotation
orbiting this earth hoping the ground
sticks firmly to our feet, some dread it
the heartbeat, the sound of a fresh breeze
the jealousy of a glassy grin making it by
cool and a stranger, underpinning sloppy kisses
wagering your happiness in another's mood
open arms might too fail you overnight
tired souls, empathetic vampires salute the sun

it does not matter, the stagnation made it fade
didn't say it, held up the suspense in wet cardboard
wait a second, I did not ask for this?
'just because you move your lips,
doesn't mean you exist'
they sought my ear, worry not it happened before
the rude patrol drummed me down, no lube involved

no more medicine of my own, nothing to drink
just for a while, to steady firm my nerve
fragile male ego torn by audacity of fucking around
it be be like that anew, took root and grew
closed fist, nail deep into vanity and despair
a silence reminder one is never irreplaceable
however unpleasant that might be to hear fella'

Used to have a ting, a tickle merry boom
an equation in need of solvent wash
a throwback to my mind wired up big time
couldn't wait to tell it to my unborn children
you killed this kid, you've gone wrong
the very day I push through the hurdle
aha I'll off myself in celebration

the bastard son that made it out the womb
a cannibal that nurses an ice-pick

i'll be dammed to bend over backwards
a most sadistic form of self-harm and abuse
to please another in order to prevent a further cut
off this cycle of lonesome strangled vibe
that hounds the roof top of my drier mouth

allow me glum, the fuming state of decay
failing eyelashes wavering
blow heavy like cement
what a huge waste, disgrace!
the modern problem same ol' dilemma
I ain't owning it up to nobody, you all suck

Lost, not found. No doubt alive, hopefully happily thereafter 10 years today.

To adorn the mascarade I had to abdicate of my throne
Go further away than previously anticipated
Captivating silence throught the years
have truly been the work of violence
regarding the memories forsaken
the very hands of fate wouldn't reveal
how my foster older brother has been
this vivacious force of nature charms
surely has accomplished his dreams?
may fortune smile on the midnight hour
no longer chained to the comfort of larva,
past pretense and the injustice of choice
certain his path shines true he conquers
slicing away at his craft ever hungry
farther ambition can only lead to victory

Inseparable from beginning to start
A guiding light in trying times,
ever kind if naive and resolute in defeat
day after day the companionship flew by

I do pause to wonder at times of trial
what would he say, do or pursue if
alas my backs are open to stabbing
and it is left to be to shot to kill
whoever attempts by-a-bye worldly trills

As another year dones the calendar
may it be known, do register it
yours truly and once my best friend
Lost, not found. No doubt alive,
hopefully happily thereafter 10 years today.

the knock vibrates anew

foiled by a constipation of big talkin'
gasped for air, lying down
a string of rats do not go out of style
make for a grandeur deco by the depot

staggering battle, mighty fierce bloodshed
feels like dignity itself is dying,
of course misery loves company
was that not why you found me friend?

my very house was distraught by loneliness
forgiveness a drought that was not meant to be broken

a map sealed away carves the very path one must navigate
to encounter, scattered and divine, the other side
of this blameless journey we cannot yet see
nor get right, not quite right

there is hardly method in the madness
a pattern disconnects the vials from liquid
torn flesh from blood awash by despair
no matter how many things one can seek to be
rational it still does not resonate with a man drowning
nor does he see comfort or finds respite contemplating
his bredren scorched by the sun chasing a dream
atop that mountain there is death and yet they fly over the edge

"Tristeza nao tem fim
Felicidade sim"
E quem nao tenha paixao a droga e rapaz atento.

Locked the room and ate madness.

It came to be that to my first lover I never professed my favor

curator to the factions in my heart, torn and swore to never die

without vows and pleas and empty promises, none came to be

for I never spoke false truths and in silence sealed my demise.

It came to be that to my following lover I crawled and abdicated of my eccentricity

resolute in exchanging personal space for splendor and boosted hubris

drunk by the spirits of good fortune I failed to contemplate

how very high I had climbed in order to see the muse up close

Slurping body odor and loose hair down the drain

A mute agenda to feed the gators that habitat the sewers

My appointment is long overdue with a cold shower

to strip my distress, no sweat, and headbutt the wall vigorously

and yet post-confession be clean and perfumed for appearances

those can electrify even a genie and take away your heartbeat

Tremors that skip beats, forfeit or lost, so easily intertwined

I came to a stop during the interview gagging for the punchline

The connection to steal the plot and breakthrough the rhythm

This was not not what I was made to

and the piano jams another at ears reach.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Shimmery down child the dinner is turning cold

don’t ‘cha know firetraps and women are alike?

All out to entrap, snare and capture your darn hide

lick the fat off your flesh and drink the goodness off your merry bones

read off the memories out your soul and erupt in giggles starring at your penis

The novelty that preludes a joyful birth has since dried up

what past can be reconciled if my bosom weeps as a machine

ticks, vibrating eyes maroon by kin and crimson by despair

How can one be expected to love another should he the abomination

have forsaken his own mother? Each step I take on a wooden plank

creaks firmly like a old bitter friend that comes to visit once every year

awkwardness and fake laughter creases aging fingers, linking cheeks

curse alight diffusing by misdirection, ‘I am leaving now”

holding the door to take in the still breeze, terror airs find you once in a while

‘I haven’t forgotten’, I simply did not glance beneath my raised arms

trying to contain the sun, fold it twice, pray and whisper goodnight.

_________________________________________________________________________________

To truly prove that one has only not attained but also substantially

actively pursued to foment and captivate a Good Life his testimony

too must be imperial of note, restless in silent and formidable in song

terrific it should capture the imaginary and make one afraid of himself

such be the stakes at odds, the diversity of possibilities chanced at whim

stupendous adventures and gambits intertwined amidst utterly ordinary days

spent by the countryside with the spouse under a lazy summer day, partial to love

captivating romance for it is a collective endeavor, chain smoking because one can

rendezvous under the careful observation of the natural phenomena at play

and somehow that will be enough for me and you.

Lovers are faithful when they bail one another

Partner in crime, daring to an extend so and so

Bunny figure, dolled up eyes and little to no virtue

All the alternative friskiness and ever so little to lose

Hanging suspended on top of a pile of bodies

Liars, cheaters, phony folk and those that gone broke

All fitting for target practice, all worthless and thirsty

for the renewal of the life circulation to come to an end

regretful that those barely men had to swing proper

dancing on ‘dem sweets merry lips, being instructed

guided towards who they should be, impervious to distrust

The yearn for the uterus defeats the power to resist arrest

Cardiac pump jolts a zombified state unto a darker plane

one where one should address his own stench and past

Fence the ill gains hush hush, morph the coughs and whispers

an ethology of making it big, stick to the plan Sony otherwise

she will be the one who’s fertilizing my backyard

May the stars, bullets and dishonesty serve as a beacon

towards that new found religion of criminal genius in hit pursuit

you, me and the trill of being hunted, underscore the alarm of sirens

Our stagecraft the spoils of drinking straight from the fountain

despite the far-cry, fines and token tribute gifted by the audience

I do not believe the kids are gonna make it, bounty plentiful

either dead or killed, a happier accident should an immediate

decapitation over the wheel having taken a swift turn

‘whatcha say we join the club of not giving up trying

I’ll break the window and you assault the victim

deprived of his belongings, keys and dignity alike

The newspapers and experts will summarize the message

birthday boy stutters with a dislocated jaw and broken nose

worse for wear, roughed up, the mud drowned his attitude

a bitter case of premeditated messing around

Gouge the testicles, scab by scab

Perforate the eyes as you shout

“I told you so”, hangover a buffer

sobriety a sour and a pitiful listless one

a sea covered by piss and plastic tides

obscene like a coast of lab rats numerated to die

in a just order, amazed and kicking, virgin and sterile

fuck drugs that perspirate life in small increments

Spent half my life chasing the pleas
"Stay with me tonight"
and my white lies tore that hand too
not so sure that was what unbreakable stood for
more akin to under siege or unbridgeable divide,
to give nothing and therefore receive nothing
awash by cleansing fire or the palm of a lit cigarette
reconstructed experiences that I did not ask for
burden by the lapse choice of when to be a mute
fearful the day I do show emotion I wind up killing someone
What the lords that be brought me was laughter
irritating to no end, no I do not believe it to be joy
glee and merry cranks raking my peripherals

I too disturbingly contort and twist my own words
sunset uncertain, immediately a collage of lies
and that's just madness.

Your mail is a tempest in my teapot. Ever so necessary.

In took us for a whorl under the moonshine
Ankles clapped in unison, shoulders rubbed tight
Shielded from the rain by the umbrella, alas tick-tack
sobriety the nemesis, time a vigilant parent figure
Fanatic to grasp a hand and have her feed my hubris
Caress my hair, strike down my thunder whenever it may be
For all those that were once lost regain sanity through light
and if frost, be it fog in a summer desolated day, that torch
shone brighter, fair and welcoming, beaming white and true.

Your mail is a tempest in my teapot. Ever so necessary.
news that shred skin like daggers in a wolf howl respite
For more surely will follow and should you survive?
Your breath will be short and your soul hollow
Unassailable guilt would had sufficed, a mere state of mind
To dominate and creep on, like a soft souffle in a kinder palate.
Head to head one should eat oneself truly, to consume before he be taken
By the tidal wave that follows the decapitation of the relationship
To be buried upon the flag of their incapacity to retake another step forward
At least that be how I perceive romance, iconic yes.

 An on and off affair crumbled, dyed with hype and outmatched by will
The sky seemly sunless, happiness awash and empty.
To innovate now would be a survival instinct, a power-point display
presented in the nude awaiting the divine okay of my lopsided state.

Taking it personal

Today my humanity was shaken, I felt that
as the format of self harm peeled my eyelashes off
One at the time, like petals to a child's meddlesome hands
both fiend and keen, my temple shook twice still
In queer query queued at my extended palms in balm
tribute meant for the faithful, those listening and in need
That self-harm can be different for those that help without heed
no longer understating purpose, lunacy engulfing zombies asleep

My heart aches heavy still, pulsing for mere instinct and yet
We cannot discard this debt of life, nurturing its gift and
the wishing well is owned a burden that I rather forget.

If I sound dishonest it might be the signal of a tombstone
a lodestone too generates conflict, for the hands that choke
are my working tools, the very source of sustenance and pleasure
serpents that ever nifty too fall apart and ought to become necrotic
least the whole organism becomes ridden with disease sought by conflict
now it is not the time to listen to own self least it be a trap, bind your time
smitten by kinder words shallower on repeat, solace in tenuous grounds is akin
to coming to accept bad songs as a form of self-medication

Past the shifted resentment, the hollow sadness that floats
I ticked forward feeling a resemblance of saudade, I felt that.

I wish I could.

Happy ever after.

I lounge for the leap to obey gravity
The shambles under my feet to cease
To look at the godless without omission
Under no pretense or guise, to hold my breath
Smoking lungs contract ash and fearful advise.
Fending off numb cries that pale words attempt to cure
On the playground, to be drown in delirious laughter
I do wish it was possible.

Further procrastination spells disaster with a ting
Flinging aces and stars to the mark, an act of treason
Faking attention for the sake of a pompous master.
I lounged to speak only to fall quiet at a time of need
a trial I was meant to awake to, screaming for I broke the code
a promise I could not hold, I wish it would not cast a shadow.

a man so simple, treatable and kind
Earned his keep, a rightful place in the kingdom
Of man, the divine and all things true.
Alongside peers, loved ones and enemies
For peace comes all but at once and everlasting.

If Life starts now where am I been thus far?
Where do you intend to hide the shuck off me?

Do not return me there
the very edge of the World
is all but flat in substance
Tasteless it fails to entertain
a positive car crash
Anonymous reasoning
Push, pull, swing, take and oops,
Phone call terminated.

Courtesy of seeing the wrong way.

I saw a fellow breather riddled with passion
Basking in the stream of sound, singing for hella'
Tad preachy on the peacekeeping ways,
busking for bread and admiration
"Sugar we are not made to break, surely?
Let's us resolve this friendly fire in common grounds
let my children be the last ones to die, flying down now
with angels and the Divine, innocent still, missed and loved all the same."

No matter how many times I pump my own empty chest
The desired response stood timid leaving my mind cloudy
Gratitude can be freaky and mankind can be stripped of her beauty
Starring down a well of infectious deadly mold
We hanged a poet for his preposterous arrogance yesterday,
for his love for the word was both powerful and penetrating
made my skin curl, trying to retreat to the guiltless womb,
now it is the rotten bones that need rescue. Fantasize outrage,
cannot mellow the irony of the rope, messy if I say so myself.

I shine like polished fool's gold in the candlelight
Nothing a smokers spit cannot dissolve.
Locked in a room with restless specters,
all but one wish me harm, tolerating my presence
Nevertheless, the Sun bathes the wicked all the same

This pins in my ears, round my lips and encased on my skin
are but a faint warning sealing away forgiveness and meaning
for all I paint is vain, all I dare sing off beat and deafening,
for all I write spells trouble and sounds cross and petty
Do you ever feel nauseated, the surroundings strange and distant?
The constellations drive a hard bargain to salute your path to familiar grounds
It has been hours and your heart is still restless
Wondering if you ever are gonna relearn how to pace yourself
Will the tick tock ever slow down.

A phantom lays low underneath your ear.

Body sweat can cure jealousy, petrify demons
eat away the apple of my eye and looking back
I drank 'till I believed in roller coasters leading to God

The venom of diving down the hatch of affirmative response
Why yes sir I choke gracefully, do note the needle and remember
Chopping fingers can lead to decomposition, got it memorized?

Warfare mimics a getaway of a lab rat greater wall banging
Chopped teeth experience the regurgitate a fragrance of decay
Tensions wasteful at a glance, motherfuckers be on the offense

Some questions do not fulfill their purpose, eating away at curiosity
Did my unborn twin earned a proper burial under the divine veil?
Is he floating in the wind, set off in adventure towards ours truly

might just be a dreadful waste of time 'innit?
a vigilant outlook true, snooping around and listening
picking up clues like a cannibal scavenges for corpses
too feeble to kill, not quite desperate enough to bite the hand
In order to feed I swear I would do many a despicably things
but sleaziness will prevail, not to fears disadvantage ahah
It is very much so present, in mild dosage, makeup of my being
A phantom lays low underneath your ear, those halls of perdition
Should thy words string erratically one can do away with thy tongue;

I find my saga is all but lost, all too driven to pick up speed towards the window
I am but a fiend whose hands crave response, whose flesh is coarse and bitter
a desk slamming demon that grew up chasing voices in the rain, misspelled and all
dispel this curse, anyone, and I raise my chest in disbelief if it were not my lies
that sabotaged my destiny, lock-downed my memory to a fermented mess of shit

and I swear, oh yes I swear the reason I conduct myself in faint melancholic
nonetheless, easily identifiable hand flowing monologue is to pay tribute to hope'
 
to jump the wall and land fairly well in appropriate sing-along, should she be listening.

Black and blue knew them well.

Black be the sun, two folded, in savant request
Blue a gentler eccentric song worthy of pen and drippy blood
Thine a conundrum empiric to melodrama
Wound ac rooked device holistic
Hands torn, aching sores, fail to capture hot air streaming off
a rusty scream for liberty that's not quite there
They can, however, rope your throat and interrupt your living state
assault your senses, now roused of chance, off it;s divine lung capacity
Deserted of a tapped conscious, both murder and minuscule prisoner
a lab rat, one battered black and blue, his boyhood emancipated and stripped down
forcefully and certain, immediate and everlasting, never liked him anyway.

The pen, black ink, black casing, black problematic hands profess
a criminal confession, a bluish hurrah spun in a shared dream
Tolerable yet unwarranted eyelashes slip through, nuisance, lashes... yes?
hundred folded unto his skin, prized for conduct, cherished for the lesson bent
Black be the taint charred unto the soul
in coarse blue bruised skies as she cries
Negro tones of affliction unplanned, untold, gave way for you
Off the book a fuming solution tastes of iron
Crux be thy rod, scarlet agony, beaming rope in late compromise
Custom made, to measure and customary enough. Practical and final.
As you feel the neck break under the weight, judgement is passed.

Uncut emeralds guide towards the edge of the world

All it remains is the aftertaste, crashed party
Hollow walking corpses edging on a hard reset
'Cos your eyes slaughtered me as I tore contact
I broke down into another self, a lesser version
Incomplete, sleepwalking and deeply dissatisfied.

This itch scratches my very essence
The nail tear bone and flesh,
The ballad of heat and motion
Carve fever into my madness
The lesser evil remains to pay
in blood cull my backwards fall

What was the point?
Put a sock on the stinger
Rubbed me off all sorts wrong
Doubled down on petrifying spells
Conduits of hate and shortage of breath

Capture that emotion and archive it
Label it down as 'weak bones syndrome'
And burn it immediately, may the voodoo cure
What time couldn't.
_________________________________________________________________________________

First came pride, the air overlapped sundown. Best friends are seasonal. Lovers are therefore optional in defeat.

Sneer as the pencil preludes a calm rolled tongue

Rubbing fingers indicates laughter. Do hold the esteem pen

Lush and translucent. It mares the feasting prelude, damaged.

Clogging the airways, stirring in ajar consorting with loss

A tear off course, the page demands singular responsibility:

lead carries it, ink wills it, his master vigilant,

the trainee integrates omission like a poison lake

faces torment with void empty streams and floating bodies

Oh woes be footmen trespassing on my bosom

The desk knock an insinuating top hat facade

Shivering free trade for empirical denial 

on the third achievement the sun came down

as we sat on the edge of the cliff we depreciated (carefully)

one another, perhaps lovers then still 

pilling hands, dreams and saliva anyway

cos we could not sleepwalking simultaneously

clashing bodies feel better when the makeup

and egos exhausted ride the yawn past the cane

up the blindfold, round the rope/chair/naivety

I was not what I spoke, foretold (in a million years)

chasing the glimpse of a skirt rogue to the blur

Sunburn. my hide comes face to face with a bud

a time capsule of my thinking', roll the credit scene

shine through the americas' scandal, dough and gold

Can weight the same as my free mass should I will it

Manipulate the odds and snap the magic back into her

or us? Definitely crashing off cocaine.

Getting by, boosted by abnormalities that defy 

the immorality of my revolver, bested by a lion

a lioness and her brother, linked by context

fated by word dropped off a pedestal

seldom missing the point, watchful be the cop out

we are hardly what we need at a given time

and lack the strength to admit it, Missy

love, put that needle down the drain

you break your heart and poison the air

we shared once.

A most unsettling email.

It required no introduction going forward
It would appear my presence canned a macabre banquet
It came swift, a bolt clung to the spine, stank of carnage
It stood at hold for mommy dearest floating with ghosts

A master plan unfolds sweet child, this show blows!
Circus is in town parading everywhere, truth be told
Maniacs and the worse scum float down here
Axes in toll, violence at a fling throw, merry unfolds

Frantic callous memories bargain for attentive miracles
That the pencil and the saliva smudge as a star to curiosity
To match the shallow hereafter with dignity I propose
Decapitate the messenger, desecrate the pupils and hang:
the masters, the eminent and those that savor disaster
Let the rivers run in fair abundance, silvery glee pointy filth
Observe the mocking angels sink like tomb stones (control)
Sever flesh from skin like a poorly timed gag, one touch too close

Made my mind to dial my demise and call, unleash the whip
On Mothers Day I was dead set on picking up a fight
Misstep wisecrack and it does not get easier so dig deep
For the butted end of a joke, bip bip bop, blink and she's gone

Fought threads round my neck to trail them off my chest
Who said you only get the 1 out of a million? Uh uh hun

I once took care of a suicidal goat going by Emerald
The jewel of my bosom roped too tightly eloped too soon
Willingly trapped in a rats maze in authentic disarray on a sunny day
Leap my globes, torn in weep over form, trashy tender fingers
Lodged to massage that itch in manners most intrusive
Polishing my newfound blindness status frost and hallow.

There can be only one king in my domain summer child
It springs to mind in whispers, the king gets off screams.
Reckoning the sailor muses, fixated on cleaning the toilet
Casts a prominent net, broader on winter.

Desist, do it my way

Spoils defender by maggots parading on sight
Warm bouncy tit hung tender muddy and rough
Milk clung to shit and snot in a valleys's river
Shovel the hiddey-hole under tutelage of another
Slaver meant for ruin, coagulant reintegration
To the sphere, rasped humid cloudy travels parked
Moths lodged on my gut brought green and red wires
Now resurfaced, now exposed
'And I dont want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me'.
Put another quarter will ya?

Was it worth the cost? Bring it in, be that lucky one.

There is a Tinkerbell in repose, lucky one
At leisure; taken shelter over the window
Collecting lovers dust gone wrong
Fishing for a promiscuous destiny on the run
Took the messenger hostage, menacing host
Consider him fortunate to be breathing unevenly
On the other side of that curtain lay skeletons
And curses suspended in held breaths
I speculate that I enjoy remunerating the mere sight
What's worse than knowing I caused it?

It makes for an intriguing dancing partner through the night
An entire pantheon of opened up recollections
To polish and reforge the stale memory with fairy dust
And put hard fought lessons to waste by getting confused

To make her life my business in a roller coaster of trajectories
Those bread crumples better rot mighty slow else I feel enticed
To get lost in the trill of a someone else's elven song

Applause please, I do need some to get by-a-bye
A paddle to facilitate and stretch the livin' act

I can only interpret what I can further medicate
Guess and take by adequate measure the portion due
Be it bowl cut and short round the bends, faulty in denial

In lucid ecstasy I consort with the improbable
In hopeful drowning wavelength, up, down, afloat
Friendly fire in retrospective, Russian roulette when all in

Traffic lights take me back to the arms of someone that smelt and felt right.

Tic-tac-toe twist the shoulder of that ho

Traces the veins, compulsion erupt to the core

Gut the pearl, lick the foundation, child's play

Tic-tac-toe bend the hip, compress the tail

Vivid headbanger, blackout submerged response, a pulse

Waltz hand in ankle, composure flimsy and blunt

Simon said war, and so we hacked and bashed and tore

Joint in an uninspired reenactment of feral descent 

Dance to the tune of bullets, towards loved ones we ran

Hidden were this thoughts iced over clay pleasantries

Shook in inevitable rotundas, out to an outstanding loan

Pressed to flip the volume in abundance as we feast  

_________________________________________________________________________________

Burned bridges now, really
The nest remains wishful thinking.

Red sore eyes tail traffic lights

Like those that lit the pathway.

Fleeting compression trigger the alarm

theurgencyingettingpastthefactbecausenooneelsesetsthestandardofpatheticandthosebelowain'tshit

Vaulted gasping inner breaths 

Ain't taking the risk today

Not picking up the phone

Agony in burn out, fashion

Same two tunes on speed dial

In resurgent random motion

Clock off by the 11th

The woes of the mighty

Aline in tribute to Babel

The hubris in suffering

The undertaker steps on my toes

Cracks my joints, bathes my stench

Furthers my essence, neutral dipped shell

Worship in recollection soothes my hunger

Forget not the interlocked fingers

In passage lips carriers of delight

and the abomination of the tear

Traffic lights bring me pain

For I oblige in the consideration

That in pause a r-reflection

From green eyes to yellow hair

A red mist strangles the frame;

I stay awake at night solely

because my dreams do not involve me.

Saturday has been plain

chasing that high again
riding assumptions the concern
that if only had I been gifted
gotta try again, singing graces
the future refutes the flame
flask, elixir of dark powers
flaky shambles of alien memorabilia

Seers imprint; mental agility spent
Sorting out the puzzles of daily jazz
Crack the crystal ball/ twist it round
Greasy eager fingers, freshly dyed hair
New year, woes that attack the core
Raise siege to the border of the question
Cement the space between doubt and a scream
Vibrant tasteful tune such is rebellion
Mellow voice, handpicked speech 'hell-o'
Orb stolen by rogues and  buckles
Let us sweeten the deal with ice-cream

Meditating on a chair nesting detachment
My hands alone cannot fabricate the stuff
that dreams are composed off
Nurturing an headache side by side
An empty slot of time pre-selected
An electrifying colorful stream
No way I can step on that lane
I heard it be a dreadful hub of freedom
_________________________________________________________________________________

It crept on rapid like a crawling cockroach that learnt how to fly induces panic and groovy shoves, outbursts of enduring hate

It fell flat to condense, condolences really, like a mute flash mob instructs a riot to take up arms against the villainy of obesity

It came to be wonderful like a halve conjecture severed during birth hip lodged dwarfed aspiration that coincidentally bore sustenance

It entangled me still like her voice mused, in words untargeted, in free flow, homemade exchanges edged a buzz now distant and blurry

It dances in the fingertips like a coin skillfully shaped to entertain the idea of a pause and silly discarded lukewarm dolmen silhouette

Like us in my re-collective, selective, memory. It's a past, formal really, form of self.