Let myself down slowly because it hurts

less when the eyes do not connect
not quite ideal but here we be
All the same in permanent rotation
orbiting this earth hoping the ground
sticks firmly to our feet, some dread it
the heartbeat, the sound of a fresh breeze
the jealousy of a glassy grin making it by
cool and a stranger, underpinning sloppy kisses
wagering your happiness in another's mood
open arms might too fail you overnight
tired souls, empathetic vampires salute the sun

it does not matter, the stagnation made it fade
didn't say it, held up the suspense in wet cardboard
wait a second, I did not ask for this?
'just because you move your lips,
doesn't mean you exist'
they sought my ear, worry not it happened before
the rude patrol drummed me down, no lube involved

no more medicine of my own, nothing to drink
just for a while, to steady firm my nerve
fragile male ego torn by audacity of fucking around
it be be like that anew, took root and grew
closed fist, nail deep into vanity and despair
a silence reminder one is never irreplaceable
however unpleasant that might be to hear fella'

Used to have a ting, a tickle merry boom
an equation in need of solvent wash
a throwback to my mind wired up big time
couldn't wait to tell it to my unborn children
you killed this kid, you've gone wrong
the very day I push through the hurdle
aha I'll off myself in celebration

the bastard son that made it out the womb
a cannibal that nurses an ice-pick

i'll be dammed to bend over backwards
a most sadistic form of self-harm and abuse
to please another in order to prevent a further cut
off this cycle of lonesome strangled vibe
that hounds the roof top of my drier mouth

allow me glum, the fuming state of decay
failing eyelashes wavering
blow heavy like cement
what a huge waste, disgrace!
the modern problem same ol' dilemma
I ain't owning it up to nobody, you all suck