If I left yesterday why call me a man adrift today.

A breath in order to relish the thought
Momentaneous pause, to ease the transaction
As it takes place and obscures one's past without a trace

Once, I was told, out of kindness and necessity I figure
For my actions raised doubt and generated excessive awkwardness
No longer a general, tactful subtracted to solution
An human that boasts epic feat, furthermore shows no fear
Is but a beast and a fool whose flinging onward shall lead to demise
Not short of obstacles defeated, his achievements vast, his process fast
It is not the manor that thumps the disaster of collapse
Alas, pray tell who dares defy the elegance of this wooden shack
As it bends and gently favors the breeze as greeting
No longer an incoming confrontation, conflict overcome, peace.

As of late, sleep comes by rather..well, late!
And I seem to find my appetite exhausted
My limps weak, my sanity feeble.
Afraid, I assume
that I came to miss someone's face, now a faint presence
Whose lines I cannot quite define
Was it easier to confront, Now, what I left behind?
Short for words, none raise to the occasion
I bow myself excused of reason
And bow stepping backwards to the nearest exit
Afraid still for I made yet another mistake
Afraid still for those the roads untraveled
That much harder, alas that much more worthwhile.

Misguided lady, the stream crossed over the river
In order to learn how to fly

Today's the day of retrospective and sympathy
The last one if this cough drags
Like the fags I rubbed off
Under my feet

A sea of grey, my favorite color
Just so
I swear I could descend directly from a chimney
An exception, apart from both ape and chimpanzees

A proud, sort of, father of four
Called them over, sat them round
Looked over his shoulder and sighted
His will will be spoken
So tread light, don't forgo the floor

The holiday season carry a certain weight
To their own it's due, what's the right name..
weary and restless, straight from the boarding school
to an empty room I called my own
Not too shabby for a house meant to replace a dusty home
Reparable cause once compared, what came next
Was instead the real test

Between bars and thick glass, a familiar or a phantom
Rogue by nature, vile in aspect but kind at touch
My father would serenade and occasionally giggle
A faint tune to lighten the mood in this prison
A prison that no longer bares impression
Bunch of loners, guards, prisoners and all
Sheep, the whole lot, friendly though
Necessity bred understanding and tame ways
To believe it all started by an opportunistic theft of false identities
A con really, laid to waste through bait.
Hook, bite and center. dragged through busy roads and cement
I would had chose to pour more concrete

Two mares leaps and a sea between
They shan't ever spout more bullshit to me
I got no hack for gamble and pain
Chances are Fortune butcher my ankles
chew my fingertips and bite my lips
An unfortunate occasion really then
To look farther ahead, as I happen to be heading that way.

Colorful the stuff hope seems to be made off

As the soul corrodes, a bad omen

A grey day weights down, under

Light weather always broke the mood

As of yet, nothing, remembrance digs deeper within

It took us longer then expected, pal

You seem, it both pains me

In vain, ever oh so vain facing the truth

He came to remember my birthday

Throwing a pretense for a tantrum, a need

A eagerness to celebrate, be had a commotion, salud.

Easy now, should we listen?

It gave me pause, nevertheless

I was genuinely surprised, and thrown aback

Hold me then in your thoughts

I haven't been myself

But now I cannot say you weren't here

Here to help

Back then as well. 

Not particular about giving away sympathy

I don't believe I am well known for kindness neither

I must have done some good thus far though

And I spare no time celebrating indeed.

I cannot simply come undone, for others

They hold the key and a piece of me.

It felt good to lay down at night
Comfortable under the sheets, safe and sound
Somehow, those days never dragged

I picture a walk to which stamina I lack
An ever consumption, a status quo in decline
I state the glaring fears, no one else would

Ludicrous  not to tremble, the possibilities are unexpected
Mind me, how does fare the time, read weather, 'bout those venues?

A crocked throat, a pleading case of hiccups and misery
Light my words with kerosene fireman, make it bright under the stars
The constellations hide tonight, devoid of attention or shape

It is not what separates us that stands out but the traits
Mark this words and take a bow

Why hello special snowflake
How rare for us to come across
How exquisite for us to meet Here
Here could lay the purpose of our existence
Can you hear the weeping sounds?
Fair enough, we do differ in states of decay
I am here to remember by an happier period of time
Do miss me when I am gone
You, for once, are Here to celebrate the announcement
Of this funeral that I should have never seen

Perish the thought, the degree at which I burn
Release, oh sweet release
I promised you that and thus I haven't come close to this..
Nor worth a penny, thief sparing a chance (change comes by cheap)
Do miss me when I am gone

I were the bad news
And you the naive salesman, conned upon
Silly for you skipped a beat and jumped a penalty
Painful for I lay dead and you managed to escape
This torment is a lesson and education has a price
Last consolation prize, a smack and wink for a tease
Sorrow that knew only my tomorrows

I fucked up and cannot afford the swearing fee
Fuck.

Remind me, next year, maybe, how tired silence felt like.

How have you been

You my fool

Silly bum, same old aged faced squire

Ol' desires sink the same in the ocean

The reach the same, a struggle or a dance per corner

Level me this, riddle it ain't one nor two

We can both swim, truth be told float as well

Why have I so eagerly disappeared

If I meant so little to you

Why have you given yourself away

Once, or twice really

It has been told, I seem to recall

How these little, precious, things whose worth

Be told, surely, be worth doing slow

I was, perhaps, in the haste of mind, in a rush

I could apologize but I don't seem to have noticed

How poorly, little, belittle, you have seemed to have minded

My absence, it would appear!, has given you away

Lord, I have a confession of late

I happen to lie all the time

I am anything but close to fine

I identify poorly with who They say I am

The actions I have been linked to

Cause me grave pain and a general sense of confusion

Remind me, how to undo the tiresome soul crushing boredom

Of this condition, this fatal disease one calls Life

My deepest sorrow

Could be how thoughtfully I forget

Something.

I wanna hate everyone around me
To clear a room, paint it beautifully
To wake up at dawn and do it all over again
Keep myself in check, in the edge of my seat
When will I slip, I couldn't wish for a better turn of events
A strong emotion demonstrates an equal proportion of devotion
A megalomaniac, suffice to say

Alas, Paradise comes as the prize
Of this wicked deformed show of freaks
Insanity demands a dull repetition
Off with these disguises, I dismiss myself so-so

Do not hold my hand in pity, friend
Take my advise as I crawl my sickness, away
Away with this reality of saints and dry ironies

What awaits me then
Should I not, withdraw, excuse myself
It is not, surely, the distance that disturbs
The signs were there
I assume my every pertinent presence was not felt
No one ever called, regardless
They might have perished the thought, foretold my arrival

To odds an end. I was forgotten as soon as my usefulness
Came at an end
Do not touch me with that sweet tongue, friend
Your familiarity stinks of vile intent
And I digress in my routine, I speak out of habit
Even though you disgust me so-so very much
You never came therefore, before I close this door
I shan't forget never to forgive
The offense is carved and well framed within the heart

Were I, to have a home to come back; too I could
Insult you and flee. Smile, possibly because I dare choose
Grow a guilty conscience growl
My ears are clean, momentarily.

I made a mistake, truth be told.
No one ever did take the blame
Sit by my side friends
Purge the thought,
I fail to contemplate the horizon
It is dark and blurry
When one hides afraid

As the barmaid turned
Oneself struggles to swim ashore
If, drunk, face down on a puddle
A familiar face does not pull you up.
Drowning is excusable, alas, I swim rather well
Let it be known, I am grateful
I tend to forget to show it
Gratitude this is, compassion
For both you and me

I dismiss change, I seek to improve
Wit and peculiar humor share a common trait
Off color, fantasy talks of tales and wonder
Granted my eye socket is dislocated
The drink swirling
The swamp, fairies trapped in this glass
My head slipped, hit the deck
A dark omen, a swollen pretense
Stolen pride see's none thus wisps
Crawl under my bed at night
worse, my company ain't God.

Denial is all that I have known
My bones can break
Far better to have a soul on the mend
And busy hands
Solitude warms up to the taste
Of friends and companions alike
As we sail forward into the unknown
Safe travels drifter
May your ship be made of the better stuff still
I came to be convinced

See-saw

Tell me love, what compels one
To linger about
To move beyond the shadow of doubt
and change to-morrow.

To break away, in pieces
Is it a choice? Or the consequences that followed..
Have you been feeling so hallow
That you felt regret? A compulsion to emerge?
Or would you rather regress to the womb,
and repeat the tiny inches you once called steps
as you nurture the wounds and lick yourself in shame

Sharp, for it is pain and it is sad and it is with disdain
that one lays broken
For this is not hell, nor his friendly neighbor

But wait, as a last request
would you consider,
as I answer to myself,
a dance? For the sake of farewell:
miss me never, I never do.

What I discard today is the price
At any cost I said, but I didn't meant it
I forsook them in order to escape
Alas, I shan't return not even if I could change
They remind me of myself
And I see it again and again
In this dysfunctional see-saw
Mind, I do tend to forget

Riddle me this: what drips just outside my bedroom window? How come my life doesn't cease at each drop? Ah!

I have had recurring nightmares
I dread night and all its evil kind
The dark, the shade and all what is grey
I fought hard to behave, to understand and take shape
Never to forget was my struggle, I swear!
To purge doubt and naughty intent my dilemma

Fake condescending penicillin, now I truly see
There is nothing ever as vexing as a shattered illusion
I was never truly stuck with YOU
All this time, wasted, not, for I have come to learn
Naysayers come in all sizes and colors
And loneliness is only a punishment,
when one engages in blows against a mighty high wall

With fervent passion I pray
Pleasing should you be
For pleads alone will not suffice nowadays
To hold dear to my heart
I have been cast away
And when distant I have been missed
My return is not a possibility
And here I remain, content that pain free
I be born again
To see the World in all this different
A whole multitude of colors
To climb, to explore, to share and behold; dearest
Truly, we are one and the same
But one seems to be missing out the rule
We both were set to lose by clash and sword
But I admit defeat and carry one as it is
Would you be able to do the same?
Alas, I await what time and only so-so
Unchains, sweet release, unfold unto me
A new dawn, more of this foolish believe
That a tamed life is well spent in expectation of a reward
I, for one, will pray there is no God
To punish Us for our Sins.
Let us Then not make a fuss
It ruins the Mood, disturbs the neighbors
A status quo has to be preserved, so I have been told.
Then again, the Sky was falling the other day

I will wait patiently for a sign.
Like a slandered politician
Obviously without the campaign
No support, only lies!
My Muse, nay! God..where have you been..

I hold at bay
a crippling loneliness
By dawn, rest assured, a resurrection
My resolutions are all but dissolved.

In need for an introduction
paved down a track of empty expressions
drown, grey faces, lost cases of ill times and lost hope
"You don't look yourself today"
As if it were not impossible to change overnight
Pontificate the miracle of followed advises and power of will.

My conscription by birth shall only lead to my death
I am ever so so cold and in agony
Furthermore my pillow remains mad at me

I am grown a terrifying condition of late
the symptom's dire, the body rests weak
a counter-reaction, an overdose of hypocrisy

I for one embrace this new turn of events
no longer afraid of the dark for I long the ticks
the scratches and the hallowing noises that fill the silence
what hasn't killed me since then burrows me deeper
Mentally exhausted I salute thy and lay dormant for now

Mother Tongue

A vibration, hearts beating

Birth by sleep, laughter bound to convert

Embracing the very air you reject

As we speak

Millions breath, overthinking

Peasants facing a steep cliff

Mutual understanding is but a dry lake

An oasis in this fading mirage and I blame the heat

An understatement, a blur mixed with blushing cheeks

Guilty consciences trigger false alarms and edgy goose bumps

C'mon I honestly do not mind the rain

Why the fuck must I object or waste my time

Complaining if I rather dance tonight?

Natural speaker, an echo really

We are all the same

Under one piece of fabric

We unite

So comprehensive I cry at night

In fear my Ism is ever lacking

I dream in pixels not tunes mate

I was born to procreate

Not entertain

And I do not find appropriate of late

How every sneeze is a death sentence

My ears itch and my hands are shaky 

I cut my wings

Awaiting anew, branding

#Steaming hot

Have it all, my heart and food for thoughts

My soul

Complain about the weather

Whilst I carry on swinging

My headache sideways

Dunno either to confirm or deny

Whether I balance or juggle my head

A tick? A broken fragment in need of a leash

Is that an order or a poorly elaborated instruction?

I think we are different

But mutual consensus leads me to believe otherwise

We are one and the same

We, see, the, same

Alas, no one is worth saving