It took me far too many years to spell my birth name right
it felt daunting, the pen akin to a blade strung to my heart string
as I aged my spelling grew thin, akin to my love to my fellow brethren
awoke to the lack of resistance at hand, all it takes was amiss and gone
the clock is badly fixed and pulled apart like lego taken apart
you might lack imagination fella and my excuses are taking flight
my past is fixed in stone and buried, the paint is long dry and it shows
to be put to bed, my lament is not that I forsaken my happiness
but how lazy the seeping sadness has taken a toll
festering, akin to a deer stunned by the car lights about to crash
no speech can deviate the imminent disaster
I do not quite hit the mark, off my very best, I must confess
what is the point my limbs seem to drag past the carcass
ever lasting after this sick state that pauses my trembling state
affairs for the mundane day
lament as in passing I swore to renegade the photographs of the zoo
an eternity of caged beast, foul stench don't make for sweeter tears
the door is locked at night, the walls shrink as I dream of joy
as I clutch the crux with hatred in my heart
those days too
'I am done waiting for her to be a person I wanted her to be'
transfixed it spoke to me in alarming fashion
"I felt the Lord begin
to peel off all my skin
and I felt the weight within
reveal the bigger mess
that you can't fix"
