Cleave the atmosphere of an interview under candlelight, be gentle and forgive.

I used to survive on the delusion that God was a pinball fanatic
bouncing stars and human souls akin to a stroke of luck
And victory would comply with a better place someday
to serve and willful, a role with clear purpose, hallelujah.

Eventually, anyway, my eyelashes were ripped open
as my twin petrified me with a fork, a near miss display
of lesser skill and accuracy with intent to maim, kill, avenge
worse offenses taken place to an animal without equal, hurt
and that pain can be culled over the dinner table, embraced
in rancor, encouraging a pretense that spells downfall
Cleave this atmosphere of an interview under the light doc,
I ain't about pleasantries, gravity takes a toll, burned out.

No longer a partner in crime, a pal singing in defiance to the choir
Probably for the best, scars smear trills in the skin

A canyon that blood flow cannot revert,
pretty please shooting star, mister White
erase this blurred memories
ants been nabbing them by the root
and neglect taken guard too, trust me.

That does taste like something I would say
packed my shit and left. Burned a tear soaked letter
with your last cigarette under the caress of a thunderstorm

the window broke and drove to the cleanest
decapitation by the wind sill
or so I was informed,
the glory mere wrinkles on those that grow old
a conspiracy that twinkles on her wink

let's be honest, I am better now
and I resent it deeply, stings of fear
_________________________________________________________________________________

Let myself down slowly because it hurts

less when the eyes do not connect
not quite ideal but here we be
All the same in permanent rotation
orbiting this earth hoping the ground
sticks firmly to our feet, some dread it
the heartbeat, the sound of a fresh breeze
the jealousy of a glassy grin making it by
cool and a stranger, underpinning sloppy kisses
wagering your happiness in another's mood
open arms might too fail you overnight
tired souls, empathetic vampires salute the sun

it does not matter, the stagnation made it fade
didn't say it, held up the suspense in wet cardboard
wait a second, I did not ask for this?
'just because you move your lips,
doesn't mean you exist'
they sought my ear, worry not it happened before
the rude patrol drummed me down, no lube involved

no more medicine of my own, nothing to drink
just for a while, to steady firm my nerve
fragile male ego torn by audacity of fucking around
it be be like that anew, took root and grew
closed fist, nail deep into vanity and despair
a silence reminder one is never irreplaceable
however unpleasant that might be to hear fella'

Used to have a ting, a tickle merry boom
an equation in need of solvent wash
a throwback to my mind wired up big time
couldn't wait to tell it to my unborn children
you killed this kid, you've gone wrong
the very day I push through the hurdle
aha I'll off myself in celebration

the bastard son that made it out the womb
a cannibal that nurses an ice-pick

i'll be dammed to bend over backwards
a most sadistic form of self-harm and abuse
to please another in order to prevent a further cut
off this cycle of lonesome strangled vibe
that hounds the roof top of my drier mouth

allow me glum, the fuming state of decay
failing eyelashes wavering
blow heavy like cement
what a huge waste, disgrace!
the modern problem same ol' dilemma
I ain't owning it up to nobody, you all suck

Lost, not found. No doubt alive, hopefully happily thereafter 10 years today.

To adorn the mascarade I had to abdicate of my throne
Go further away than previously anticipated
Captivating silence throught the years
have truly been the work of violence
regarding the memories forsaken
the very hands of fate wouldn't reveal
how my foster older brother has been
this vivacious force of nature charms
surely has accomplished his dreams?
may fortune smile on the midnight hour
no longer chained to the comfort of larva,
past pretense and the injustice of choice
certain his path shines true he conquers
slicing away at his craft ever hungry
farther ambition can only lead to victory

Inseparable from beginning to start
A guiding light in trying times,
ever kind if naive and resolute in defeat
day after day the companionship flew by

I do pause to wonder at times of trial
what would he say, do or pursue if
alas my backs are open to stabbing
and it is left to be to shot to kill
whoever attempts by-a-bye worldly trills

As another year dones the calendar
may it be known, do register it
yours truly and once my best friend
Lost, not found. No doubt alive,
hopefully happily thereafter 10 years today.

the knock vibrates anew

foiled by a constipation of big talkin'
gasped for air, lying down
a string of rats do not go out of style
make for a grandeur deco by the depot

staggering battle, mighty fierce bloodshed
feels like dignity itself is dying,
of course misery loves company
was that not why you found me friend?

my very house was distraught by loneliness
forgiveness a drought that was not meant to be broken

a map sealed away carves the very path one must navigate
to encounter, scattered and divine, the other side
of this blameless journey we cannot yet see
nor get right, not quite right

there is hardly method in the madness
a pattern disconnects the vials from liquid
torn flesh from blood awash by despair
no matter how many things one can seek to be
rational it still does not resonate with a man drowning
nor does he see comfort or finds respite contemplating
his bredren scorched by the sun chasing a dream
atop that mountain there is death and yet they fly over the edge

"Tristeza nao tem fim
Felicidade sim"
E quem nao tenha paixao a droga e rapaz atento.