my favorite colour used to be blue, now that color is grey and lacks desire
Used to aspire for greatness and to learn all languages and more,
now I settle for making it past another day without looking back.
Before I was certain adults, someone surely, fuck it, God had to be in control
in the know, focused, delivered, however slow and tone deaf
all experience taught me was that you have to accept part of choice is out of your hand
and that does not just deny me a say, it invites me looking away which makes me want to
jump over the driving seat or off the window, whichever hurts most.
I had no plan, no ticket back post getaway,
did not consider I would still feel miserable far away
my food of choice was whatever mom cooked, lately the flavor has faded away
Aqua, reflect; reject.
on the holy book I hold sustenance,
rotting the brain,
as the foam erupts I pick it up
wet lips, cigarette for a valentine
there is beaty in decay, I can feel it now.
I am the village idiot
in love with mediocricy and fearful of loud noises
certain of personal injury and persecution
the paranoia kept me alive
raising the alarm to sudden movement a general sense of panic
that once belonged to me.
cracked skulls like golden eggs left to the sun
exposed to the element of gravity and hollow sin
the very stars shiny globes, rock stones, god tombs for my own joy displayed
up there high, barely out of reach every once in a while
now we preach command do as I tell you speech
and if aren't here to buy get the fuck out of my sight
consume, destroy, repeat anew
enamoured with the absence of instructions within the mainframe
system shutdown, empty house
it was finally time to get out.
no callouses in the hands, clean slat and polished phone screens
greasy fingers for instruments of lesser art
surely the soul proportion has shrunk
what once was meant to be a lonely tango by the doghouse, cold and frown upon
is a frantic new age of sensation, not to be confused with a seasonal fever
I see confusion in your face and can only promise you to slow down breathing
stupidity alone will subsidize you
all the letting go a release
I relapse,
running wild.
break that mirror on the wall
counting stitches like points on the scoreboard
heard chicks dig them, eh?
the shore of legacy an anchor that settles me afloat in the whishful thinking
singing so the echo sounds familiar, smells of home.
the floor goodness trembles beneath for it too knows
the cold has outgrowth the guest
and the tongue runs bloody as the tidal wave comes asunder
Love dies:
a singular hour of happiness, worth of being televised
prayers so flesh curling that the very neck bows in awe
an homage to the chemical boulevard
I demand a tribute of blood, riot in the streets, beast in my sheets
a perfect little thing I could howl for once ever blue full moon
all the rage no longer a drunken disregard
'baby got sick, shrank weight (still need a shrink tho)
baby lost her ring, got so thin (still turn me on, oh yeah)
what a man to do, stress out freak out, allegations, inumerous accusations
zest citrus falvoured, an avenue a ting
doesn't cost all that mere sky above, earth below
Math couldn't fool me,
upmarket diamond ring another card
to add my house of cards';
fragile, hostile
if my chest colapses it is for the beating
self-inflicted, unleash the beast within
now reflected, now here on display for everyone to see
bury the man, the human, I would do it all over again
just to prove a point, just to prove those actions belong
to me alone.
even the tune tone deaf and unstable
the fracture in the ribs uneven and quite frankly unpleasant
my dog toy puppet teddie thingie has shown
more crass acid reflux, in hot waters we pick up
fervour burns the circuit, diffuse and back to the start
in a mighty great clift I looked down and hesitated
the wave crash a call I had to restrain from pursuing
if I could digest this blame properly it wouldn't take my soul
in the lost arts of alchemy the key has been dissolved
God do no offer me the kingdom for I would condeem
I would spare not the men, nor the women much less the children
to turn that clock around and attain the escape I so desire
to reforge and replace on a different avenue this trees and seeds
what I sow I refuse. and for that butterflies deflect my trajectory in fear
my scent battery acid, a faded and bruised "I told you So" tattooed on the bones.
