terça-feira, 8 de outubro de 2019

wish the big bad wolf had eaten me whole.


"Stay, don't go,
I'll eat you up, I love you so."

Beneath the chambers of my deposed home
where dementia has sicken back a notch
the nauseating feeling the accursed sky has turned bright yellow below the Moon
on a season past the capacity to build, this cracked hands worked 'till dusk son
or so he told me so, whipping me forward, instilling drive but never love
this and other references pierce me in vain, detached and barren
much akin to my bone structure, the stubbornness alone contorts my hair curls so

'bitten your tongue wasting time
apprehensive 'cos your heart is under duress
the call of the womb keeps the beat on lock down
ain't the devil scratching your glass window? oh nonono
you lose.

the grove by your side, awaiting at the finish line, danger oh nono
a soldier can obfuscate the paranoia, the batshit crazy vibrations
bombs take lives like oil got any worth, get the press here somehow
prayers for the dearest, the bold and those wanted by silver bullets
in my dreams I can kill You, you're the one leaping, escaping,
calling me.

abduct my guiding light and spoon feed me please
I feel it coming now, pushing inside outside
cement to my resolve, a blend of tratata sooo soft
I do not possess ticks, I copycat those that rescue my attention
terribly to the unfortunate shiver I ought to try until...
until, just until I get it.'

Today I felt a chill
stroke gold and traveled in-between
the locks of mere child and youth laughter
felt hopeful and willing to sacrifice and take upon
parenthood, to change and become better
despite the sadness, the disappointment

the urgency to twist her arm
drag her over the finishing line
take upon her hurt and eat her whole
unfathomable arrogance, a disgrace
to deny ones struggles is to despair
in reluctant impatience and in vain
I'll be knocking (not down) doors
awaiting my turn, hand raised high
awaiting my turn, wishing Time itself collapsed
to trap the electricity that jolt us bind, rope and cage
for everyone at a given time told me to go
and all I wanted to, running nose twisted over my shoulder
was to feel loved as an equal and hear them say:

"Stay, don't go,
I'll eat you up, I love you so."

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