quinta-feira, 17 de dezembro de 2015

This is not the end, this is the end of (off)

An emphasis on the worsen  ways
A blockade of sorts
Means and ways
From which (I wish) salvation is forfeit
Alongside your life my friend
Ever so wicked
It has gotten to the point
Of late
That I no longer care
My efforts are slim and shallow
Fake and transparent
Sad music finally makes sense
Turning the cycle into the conclusion
That we are through
 Traitor, reaper of souls
Your own demise my recollection of lies
Here I lay broken, gone from end to port
To end up drowning in stupidity, alas my ultimate answer
And our togetherness, our misery
I could not stop the World, and words are weak
To repent, I might forgive but I shan't ever forget
Your death and my mistake
Not a sign of good-bye, good wishes for a better life
What follows next? Mother, I can only cry at night
I fear the dark and I tremble at night
I acknowledge my regrets
But I shan't ever change my ways..

quinta-feira, 10 de dezembro de 2015

The tired mule wastes away, along the carrot still.

All aboard the last train going nowhere
In particular
No rush nor delay should slow us down
Onward as it stood for a poorer excuse
Of either birth right or privilege
To be discussed post-offense in therapeutic treatment
See Hall 5 for 'that', dearest
Ever so smooth, as if the very Wind embraced change
Silly me, rambling about
Head resting in a dead man shoulder
There cannot simply be love weighted down
By past regrets and climbs still
Onward up that Hill, there don't you see
Limbs fall flat, were it ever sand and decay
Sadness and despair
Inflating those who stare and command
Comment and entertain
Three cheers for defeat and fences
That surround those too weak to build defenses
And tarnish their egos, set aside for a rainy day
That never truly came

Surely one is worth more then this
Two bullets and dry turkey
A gift of God and pain for a fortnight
Calculating cost with the expertise
Of a blind man that walks dreadfully fine
Great indeed, backwards and onward
Cannot be stopped, furthermore:
won't you let me know,
as we set below,
deep en-traced in our mowing temper
oblivious to traffic and the overall commotion;
that you didn't had to go

Time gets slow
Eyelids struggle
My breath breaks through
But the body gives way
Ever so fragile, eternity no more
Kiss me darling
If only you could.





terça-feira, 17 de novembro de 2015

One wants the World. perish the word, forgot to stay in touch, master of another

Have you been drinking at night?
NOW
Surrendered by unbounded thoughts
NOW
Going to fine places, hurray
NOW
Wishing for nothing else of late
NOW
Loving another, the chariot aboard
NOW
Despaired, banging the wall like a drum
NOW
Burning, wasting away
NOW
Spreading kerosene like a bad habit
NOW
Parking his self-doubts in sub-zero slots
NOW
Gambling his hate, winning big
NOW
Preaching a sea of salty tears
NOW
I know not where to turn to
NOW
Towards tomorrow we row

sábado, 31 de outubro de 2015

In the finest hour, pain is the kinder reminder. I still hate surprises though.

I hold a theory of old
Remote and absolute
About personal space and prayer
Firm like scars
As crimson as the familiar hatred that binds
Unit dear ones, do not cry tonight
We were in the verse of change
Our undoing was hoping for salvation
Whenever we understand, or better yet
Whenever we understand we ARE
our own masters, architects of our devises
makers of our own prisons and demise, alas;

Oh my, I thought I had made it clear, clearly not
How I hate this old jiggle
The scene, the tone, the self-embrace
As we sing ourselves to sleep
To rest my head on her bosom again
Haven't I told you? About this theory of mine
It revolves around personal space
or lack of it.
A barrier, pushing grounds to a mental breakdown
A powerful accelerator of the heart pulse
How awful to become embarrassed
How sinful could it possibly be
To admit I have this highly regarded need
for some lovely fingers massaging my skull with intent
to caress my hair, hold me close and deary, keeping my safe through the night
no more nightmares, no more hounds barking at my ears
I swear I am either going insane
or its a folly ironic state of affairs this world has came to
we must actually been striving straight down to this lonesome end-game result
To swallow the pills and end up alone? Now now, everyone may got a disease
But to gang-up on shallowness? Clear the way, fuck the sorrow and see you lot tomorrow.

quinta-feira, 15 de outubro de 2015

Pour me

I drink to forget I am alive
I drink to forget I know you
I drink to forget I survived

In order to howl to the moon
Without looking half-baked
Effort brings the cake home
Poor me, oh poor me
Do pour me another
I haven't the faintest idea
What I ought to moan of late
I might faint, I might explode
Due to lack of enthusiasm
Should come to no surprise
How much more needy
I wished I had no control
Pull the trigger and boom
No limit, effortlessly fading
Away to the bottom of the next
Bottle that would, could be
My sole comfort and support
When things are rough
When life gets harsh
I drink to forget why I started

Shot the next man you see
Shot the messenger
The glass knocking at wood
Shall bring me better luck
Pour me another
I came from a broken home
And I got a worse excuse to go back to
Take pity at this soul
And let him sing his anguish through liquor
His throat will grow tired
Set aflame again and again
'It' has grown worse off late
I throw back some for the sheer amusement
Hoping to kill boredom
My bed composes of glass shards and agony
Vomit for a blanket and self-loathing instead
of a much needed shower
Ahah but you itch are nearly out of my mind

Drumming fingers crack no doors

I got this irritating itch
Up my wrists
Its agony to wait.
Scissors where may you be

I am overtaken by this shakes
My mind promises to break
Knees weak, dizziness spells
Hammer where may you be

I got this jolting pain
In my ears, inside my arms
The room closes down
ON ME

Head banging the wall
Doesn't seem to suffice
To wake me up you need more then a knife
You need more then minding the false step
Tripping, a consumed vice begs no chance
Let's play it smoothly, collapse in the dirt (that you call fucking floor)

Shuffling through life
Yet missing the briefing
We were supposed to sit in silence
I rather spend this last few moments
Enjoying the breeze
Having you tear my heart

Would someone kindly show me how
To carve calmness in my mind
I admit the echo generates doubt
And pause. Consorting with the blurs..
I want to be known past the point of recognizance

I drum my fingers
Up my arms to the very end of that table
Cracking them down as they flow
Like a madman counting the days and hours and the minutes and the lives
He takes with the same ease and he loses count of his path and direction, alike.
As if they were one and the same
Hello, mister clock wise man
Teaching those kids how to be good
Showing the door to those whose standards
fraternize with the demons inside who's head?

I am out on a hunch
I might die tonight
From fear of not trying
From coincidence or predestination
From willingness or a inconsequential push and shove
Awaiting the test results from the morgue
I believe in no ghosts.

terça-feira, 15 de setembro de 2015

Unintended

She came out for blood
And she was having none of it
No rest for the wicked
No mercy for the weak
I am torn apart by words alone
Nothing new

'In your World, no one is trying alone'
no one is dying alone.'
Alas, cursed I was
Lounging for change
Ah! Hahahahaha.
Disclosed miseries of the soul
Forgive me my forebears
What I seek here, now, today
Is closure. In order to collapse this very tunnel
That has bind me. Snared by delight'
trapped in a vortex of a delusion
That may very well be so
But this light, my want for it
I render it null
One cannot sleep in while it is bright
I require the comfort, once again, of the dark

I remember once. The magical communion
What a grand affair, what magnificent invasion
The release that only skin shivering musical touch
could ever provide
None other shuts the pain, kept at bay ever so gently
'And dreaming I am alive..and I am not breaking down,
I am BREAKING OUT.'

In my lonesome I imagine the laughing hyena
Driving me insane, compassion drains through the floor
Head banging the walls, the floor, the roof all up to the moon
The ones who dodge relationships are still children
Alike those that still pretend to outrun their shadows
Or sleep over the pretense of achieving said feat
Those who shake furious over a prank
Which they are but sure enough soon to repeat

One should ever so often, I find.
Start over.
By all means keep the experience of yesterday
Keep the torment and anguish, how else,
how else is one to escape if he does not feel in need?
I remember once, gazing at the time
That shattering dimension that breaks any and all
Attempt of redemption
There is no template for salvation
No easy mend to salvage the product of my eagerness
Oh lalala, make no mistake.
I do honestly swear to lose control.

sexta-feira, 4 de setembro de 2015

I.

A balloon is meant
to bring joy
Generate superficial laughter
To these hopeless children
Without shoes, whose feet have blisters
No sufficient amount of glue
or red tape to omit the truth
In my recovery, an haircut at the nearest saloon
impending doom; a blast, a disaster
short lived misdirection. Chemical reaction
This swollen face of yours
Sunken sleepless eyes
This scars that would (not) heal
Regardless of my caresses, kisses
Licked I be, dammed for trying
to correct seeing you would never be
able to forget, the horrors, of birth
In my recovery
each death a statistic, in order to be, free
from general judgement; an title, an opinion
futile as only fancy should had ever been

A looking glass, a peeping tom, May.
May, a wholesome month
felt longer too, been close to an year
Since I last drew
Pictures of my soul, blank
tasteless wimps crawl and die
at that beach of my deceive
My pity is cheap
See, already broken
Invest in quality my friend.
The good died young,
guess who remained.



sábado, 8 de agosto de 2015

It's Augusto, or so they say. Be proud

Ol' good dope days
When I smacked my toes on trees
Hammered rocks for a laugh
Bumped my head on the concrete
More than once
It hurt, somewhat
I slipped, I swear
Or I would, given the allowance to lie
hard times ahead, look at the chances past
Were I that young again
Ol' good dope days
When I was naive and the days light
I could say good-bye to the sunset
Shouting for God to watch over my own
I could sing out loud
Without being considered insane
Ol' good dope days
When I felt as I woke up
That I had already won
Seize the day, no need to conquer
Or pay with labor the cost of survival
I got watched over, babysat, safe and sound
Ol' good dope days
When I was known by my sympathy
A gentle soul of sorts
Nice and all that shit
I fed spiders and did NOT step on ants
I rhymed on accident and enjoyed it
Spent time watching candles burn
Molded the wax on my hand
Gifts for my beloved ones
Ol' good dope days
I was afraid of the dark
And everything black
Nowadays I no longer fancy the reflection
And it powers it might hold
I break all mirrors
Dying just that extra bit inside
Ol' good dope days
When I shared my birthday
And all my friends played tag (not it!)
Guess I shouldn't have pushed them over the ledge
Broke their legs, misunderstood their advise
Shut down their invites, forgotten their names
Yet somethings never truly change
I paralyzed every time I heard my name
Signal that I was about to get shout at
Figure that's why I hold so many nicknames
My spine shivers, I cant stand tall
I never grew up to that part
Be proud, they said
They were proud, they said
Who's we I ask? No one answers.
Indeed a shovel and a hand-fist of dirt
Can truly break someone's heart.

sexta-feira, 7 de agosto de 2015

A journey we called hope

A lame dog moans
Not off sickness
Never aspiring disaster
A heavy heart wears her down
Amid fashion overdone
A depth to the eye bags
Gosh I am left wounded
Nicknamed childish
Sweet, bittersweet kiss
For I fucking hate kids

Cant I be reduced to empathy
This re-surge from underground
Deep down mere mental extortion
A black market where souls get blackmailed
A pointless need to compensate
perish the thought last it sinks in
Adjust is within the frame
that sets portable cause
Are we human then or only then
Dizziness spells, fog or mist
Battered, officer my judgement is not assault

____________________
Regret for a sub-par syndrome

I guess this is how cowards feel
everyday, anyway.
What a disgusting frame
weight(less), point(less), remote(less)
Existence per se
At least the tortoise has a purpose
The snail an empty shell he shall calls his own
Yet I feel shaken, thrown aback
If this heart is where my home shall be found
My chest, a hollow cavity
Without, chance he should return
'La fortuna si queda tranquila'

I guess that's how cowards feel at night
restless and weary
of what little use odds meet end
where opportunities have gone to die
at their very hands
Ares provides no mercy for beggars
At least robbers made a choice
We simply ran, startled by noise
possessed, in fright, unspoken
if ever it were meant to be
of all this combustion we call regret
______________________
Earth bond rest uninsured!
What savage choices
led to this pill of corpses
I supposedly saw
I must add, I had a lead
But lately I forget
Were I to stand against
what I assume I found wrong
Yet I digress;
my sky should shriek, then
my sea could bleed, then
my land would cease to exist
And if we were to meet again
My friend,
oh let it be in different ways.
After time and time again, my friend,
Has had the time to cleanse this land
Once, I concede, we had our fair rest
Sharing that childhood starlight for a roof
The green grass for a bed
And when in need your porch for comfort
Ahh astray, my will rose in flames
My spirit neither dust or smoke
Nothing short of those ashes there
For they range me calling from above
And it rings still
The last good man was taken, alas,
soon enough, as intended.
But I am not a reasonable man
My grieve shall be vile
In violence I shall rejoice
There IS NO tomorrow
Only a recollection of yesterday's news
How long h- , for how long
Were we meant to let go
my head wouldn't soak so
my hands could confide in another's
(drop that bottle, my friend)
And my feet could partake of another journey
'Whenever you are ready sir'
'Aye misters, lead the way and I shall follow,
to that promise land you spoke and off.
We are off.'

sábado, 6 de junho de 2015

Honey ignorance is your best friend; love my heart is already sold don't you know? Beggars can still be cowards.

Stop knocking at heavens door
It only goes to show
How slow, quaint and certain 
Severe even, might I add
Encouraging your full and serene
Reposed even, cooperation (freedom kept at mind)
Your demise assured, at bay it washes
Come to shore young lion
The task is done, the feat complete

In this prison I lay
The door never was
Instead a window, seductively wide open
A torment for a choice presents itself
Death by embrace, a strip of rocks and sea
The heights always made me tremble
Forced by shame I hide, out of trouble (good boy, now sit)
Facing the Wall, backs turned to another
My world is a word, a wall that never was
When bored my mind would crawl (slipping, sipping madness)
Agile and swift, deceive when I could not be
Free as I will never be

Such and such happened
Within reach
a Flash of light
Binding as only greedy passions might
Bestow upon the smitten youth your bitterness
Oh corpses under; undead of old, envious and crude
wise; truth be told, vicious and left senile by then
An experiment of life
Applaud instead the flux, the cycle, the blood to be filled
Unto, bye, laid, delicious prole
We are but livestock and cannibals (both, glorious infinity)
Rubber to chew (marvelous stew) my nerves away

Yet another day to fall prey to another me
Pray they shant fatten you up first little piggy
Alas, unto the school of pigs I shant go
They rub your particulars with butter
And stare at you funny as you roast
Scarlet red, wounded and blushed (sin a-like)
The consumption shant take long
For now a much required final constitution 

Parades itself
fancies Itself an infectious disease
and This is
my friend oh my friend
the end
of history
as we know it (as only victors show it)
an end to another story
and death
will plague the wall
forward, rotate the room as we speak

To justify the myth
Convert believe into action
One can only beg an honest man
For if he exists
Then by all means stone me
Set HE, this fantastic creature
of righteousness to a fault
Throw by ways of condemning
An insult by act of injury
Let there be justified by common sense
said man, ladies and pigs among the crowd
is no more, corrupted, misled by peer pressure
for I am what I am, an honest man to begin with. 

An innocent man
A dead man, alas facing the sunlight
As if it were my very last time
I did not ask to be born
Nor I regret being a sinful mistake
Yet you asked me what I wanted
I want to be killed by an equal
The missing link of sorts between you and I
The honest man that would not lose his shine
Once my neck was broken
My flesh burned or bruised
My tongue cut off, my eyes punctured
Let brothers witness, horror condensed in delight

It just might seem hollow 
To exploit greatness, admire difference
In disdain, oh the existential crisis preceding the pain 
For the sake of green admiration
Dare I admit full blown inspiration
And should us part tomorrow
(Alas neither days match! They do NOT MATCH)
I have all but said my good-byes
To the totem of my worthless affections
A symbol of my worldly possessions
Hallow and simple, were they to be at hand
I write for both my loathing
As an exchange of value per trade
As for glory, in my taint of those hands
Whose I trusted to keep my save
The only memories I came to cherish
Were at least warm.