Taking it personal

Today my humanity was shaken, I felt that
as the format of self harm peeled my eyelashes off
One at the time, like petals to a child's meddlesome hands
both fiend and keen, my temple shook twice still
In queer query queued at my extended palms in balm
tribute meant for the faithful, those listening and in need
That self-harm can be different for those that help without heed
no longer understating purpose, lunacy engulfing zombies asleep

My heart aches heavy still, pulsing for mere instinct and yet
We cannot discard this debt of life, nurturing its gift and
the wishing well is owned a burden that I rather forget.

If I sound dishonest it might be the signal of a tombstone
a lodestone too generates conflict, for the hands that choke
are my working tools, the very source of sustenance and pleasure
serpents that ever nifty too fall apart and ought to become necrotic
least the whole organism becomes ridden with disease sought by conflict
now it is not the time to listen to own self least it be a trap, bind your time
smitten by kinder words shallower on repeat, solace in tenuous grounds is akin
to coming to accept bad songs as a form of self-medication

Past the shifted resentment, the hollow sadness that floats
I ticked forward feeling a resemblance of saudade, I felt that.

I wish I could.

Happy ever after.

I lounge for the leap to obey gravity
The shambles under my feet to cease
To look at the godless without omission
Under no pretense or guise, to hold my breath
Smoking lungs contract ash and fearful advise.
Fending off numb cries that pale words attempt to cure
On the playground, to be drown in delirious laughter
I do wish it was possible.

Further procrastination spells disaster with a ting
Flinging aces and stars to the mark, an act of treason
Faking attention for the sake of a pompous master.
I lounged to speak only to fall quiet at a time of need
a trial I was meant to awake to, screaming for I broke the code
a promise I could not hold, I wish it would not cast a shadow.

a man so simple, treatable and kind
Earned his keep, a rightful place in the kingdom
Of man, the divine and all things true.
Alongside peers, loved ones and enemies
For peace comes all but at once and everlasting.

If Life starts now where am I been thus far?
Where do you intend to hide the shuck off me?

Do not return me there
the very edge of the World
is all but flat in substance
Tasteless it fails to entertain
a positive car crash
Anonymous reasoning
Push, pull, swing, take and oops,
Phone call terminated.