as the month closes so does the mouth.

Hair crawling atop your neck

round the bend, general panic

raise the stakes, up the antes let us start a war

the protector of this castle lays buried on that hill

by name we soon forget as the weight colapses without air on our chest

a disregard for what we want in exchange for what they got and boy do we care.

boyhood outgrown purpose, trampled upon with intent

the very same son, the very same blade we sharped

just good business for we are not animals.

 

to wrestle bread before hunger swallows us both, what a fraud

a peculiar charade tasting rather off

a slaver stings with discontent in a manner

where the gutting perseved lost is taxing

anxiety is put to rest

we are all overdue the reckoning

a fitting match to the sinking feeling some carry

with abiding breath.

hold on, teardrops only murk the evidence.

'today is the younger you will ever be' hereafter,

happier ever after? not quite sun and roses

in this cartoon we do heroin and breath through our mouths

lowkey we got toothache and yearn for a ride in the ol' times

ya' remember when hunger carved necessity and linked arms

bounded working limps in preservation in case you ever needed them?

now we fester, now we decay

I realize now in a shower resolution the affliction

my absolute distain for youth and looking mighty fucking young

the time bomb of isolation besieges me from below in domineering fashion

'of course, fuck', astonishing that it took me this long to aknowledge the issue

my bad, my mistake;

in truth, growing up I sought and conquered the herculean task of aproach

for I had a bounty to make 100 friends and for that I fought and conquered

play by and for play, children do not let details and social cues detach

nor language barriers or whatever be this fucked up universe overulling what beacons

never a slave to fastidious obstacles nor self-doubt

slaying demons left, right, center: what is lost or stolen can be replaced

now we adults are emptier for we carry hollow shells for souls

and heavier still we drown in regret and the waves crash against our supressing thick skull and skin

it comes to no surprise I hereby reject adulting all together,

fairy dust and all

I shall swallow Tinkerbell and all

I shan't ever grow up,

I did IN FACT that promise to myself and reignited and zealous fervor

indeed to keep whilst I am barely together myself

to mend, to heal

there is still time to keep the good word,

perhaps then reality hurts shall not scar so ugly

and if not, come and get me

I am outside making friends

instead of holding my breath and turning blue.

careful where you walk

you may find trampling broken dreams for glass

shattered amidsts the ruins of echoes from cries far

between the multitude of voices shown to amount to

a choke of valitation, may you rest in peace for the end

was violence through silence and to be fair that sounds

like hell to me, supressing words that we could let go

off knowing not what we misunderstood, spell out for me

what you meant with That instead of standing down arms

limps, legs, whatever built paradise might as well carried on

working to elevate, alleviate the pain we now share lost

in the crowd, a burden that glues emotion to the skull, pouring

a poison so fucking infectious that I feel compelled, invited

to jump, set off that gun

I used to not being okay with not feeling quite right

partial to the imbalance, sensible and ally to a cause

unified in the synergy palpable to the conscience

maybe I did grow older and bitter this year

an uphill battle we could I suppose watch pass us by

bystanders of change? spare me that holy river,

I like to think I remember the dead

in the same vein I wish to be held,

with due, earned, respect. (a hard boiled medicine that tastes like sand)

fortunately my blood cannot raise the dead,

believe me I tried (for scientific certainty).

same lament on repeat

heed the call of a daughter

felled by hatred towards someone else

filled a grave to replace my own

what may come must go once

the bell and burden taken hold

of putrid blood glistering, lukewarm

pouring from my enemy, my opponent

those we had to kill for they pray to false gods

now we believe in the Devil.

have a heart, dress code a merit, pause:

grindstone for a compromise

we shall see, tomorow;

first we dangle the legs at the edge

rope round the wrong bend

the World has turned a darker tone

at crossroads with twitching bad habits

sponsored by pills and debt alike

they do not help us sleep at night

awoken an empty lamp

a tale of discord and lame beasts of burden

a picture hard on the heartstrings

pity never quite fed anyone,

violence at the very least

as far as I can tell

left less mouths to feed

don't give me that stare

I never denied I am barely keeping it together myself

a reality of states adults keep under wraps

by being so obvious we disregard the possibility

the glass was half-empty and we are through with the tap

no point overthinking

what point is there in beating myself black and blue

if I am gone tone deaf and colourblind?

heck, I came to love this particular shade of grey

a mix of malady and cure, the homogeneous kind

that very cold that's sharp and takes your breath away

iluminating the life within, deep inside

splitting that gap, bridging the divide, reminding you are alive.

love is an acid trip, or so I was once told. I'm not into it.

a cigarette without filter

heaven bent by design

hell forged, restitute

acid liquifies, 

the great equaliser

no grace nor divine deviation

Acid tainted,

melt through

embrace both flesh and skeleton alike

confide in the puddle of my insides

oh object of my desire

blinding and misaligned

my blood does not constitute holy water

the solution was diluted

a genesis of cause reaction

Stop.

a most inauspicious port

a toxic combination of poor tact

and a rusty anchor set us adrift

what type of chorus 

interconnects with love at first sight?

even if it is one-sided?

crushed by intent

dangled swift

seagulls make for poor sailors

and meals, tough meat.

watch that blunt edge

read the sign

"love is an acid trip, or so I was once told. I'm not into it."

for the record I am confident it is a funky jazz

how to decipher where a river is better half spent?

does It care so as the water flows

it stems to defeat the chokehold we enforce

upon the meek and the weak

scratch that itch with a dagger

a pencil does not suffice for a gun

let us not pretend we didn't came out here to fight

a chimera may have less heads than a hydra

both are considered monsters just the same

none exist, make believe pretend

a diamond in the rough

a blunt discarded rock abrashed my heels

biting as it fled down stream,

didn't quite took notice but the curiosity took the best of me

a lingering fire fueled by an ache unknown

words are weightless

detached from flesh they sting just the same

as a sharp shadow triggers anxiety to the prisioner

aboard a tower which only door was colapsed

rain and prayers for tight lip companionship

some do not get second chances and that my friend

is why I consider Life as deeply unfair.

 

there lays hanged,

atop the mast of my bedroom

certainly the token tribute of cannon fodder

captain of my imagination when I travel

a soft reminder talents are not equal

a birthday gift of greater meaning

a painting drawn by sketch and hand alone

a man amongst the masses sits closer to the centre

a bay of sorts swallos all ships alike ashore

a row on each giving hand and colour aplenty

evening sun for a lighthouse

safety a beacon

home within reach

a totem that connects me to a friend

whose message agitates the waters

throw some powder to the flame men

release some inner violence, 

let us find out how many men need to be thrown off to keep a good one afloat

a shy road may curve

but it's limited in hold

the sea atones

sinks all waste 

on the current we return to the beginning

not a bad afternoon for low tide.

chronically online, absent and destined to fade away

chasing feelings like they can turn back

the clock that lay There, shattered

meaning to forcefully partake of change

by the grace of oneself, selfishly win against the system

this crocked diced hand we are given might divide us

unto more parts that we recognize as the wind picks up

and infects lovers oceans apart

seals another letter whose voice they contain

words we hear better still when the distance becomes years

they stockpile. domino effect that we couldn't possible hide

the chest was spilled open and we woke up shook

no greater grey past the screen

the silence faces the fake laughter as my adolescence passed me by

refusal of exchange of temperament of hurtin'

either we speak our mind or we suffocate and that fucks us up eh?

the absence of colour does not surprise

not what I needed to be honest

be what may

may it come quickly

for the chemistry was brief and left bruises that caved my being

I find myself addicted to the exaustion and digging at nothings

moody to a fault, I cannot let go

chewy wallpaper plug the hole inside my soul,

placate the bleeding before I lose all control:

I scratch, I headbutt, I faint

hands in the air off the driving wheel,

got nowhere else to go.