polishing my nails (what remains spared by teeth)

what is love but a social construct

a divine mandate

and oblivion incarnate

 

a painkiller numbing the hip caved in,

the nag in my shoulder and soul

the snake coiled around my throat and tongue

above all, the mistress on my brow raising waves and doubt

itchy irritating tick on my eye lids, stoic stature of held nerve

or blurry visions of words exchanged,

hipnotic rain and touch dissolving (acid or acidic cup of coffee that haunts the moon,

a danger reflected in sound of promises certain to gut you like a dog, smarter than humans

they can smell the wrong in you and me, of that I am certain darling.

a war whose soldiers surrender

is a given,

music the evolution and feeling

a mutual agreement meant to grow

and go blunt by wear and chapter

living history, family binded and made alike

to give, willingly time is the ultimate currency

a fable that Does sound too good not to abdicate of Grace

does a candle now used, now extinct

severed by lack of head, no teeth nor sleep

for things cannot breath and that irritates me (deeply)

as stone trembles but holds, firm

my life does not in fact come tumpling down that mountain nor cliff (what a shame really)

the rope steady, my friend hands trusthworthy and we

yes, We perservere.

despite setbacks and minor hearty felt burns.

 

 these memories are all I got left

they brought me here to this moment

through raw faith they conceded me passions so I might burn brighter in those instances

so as to immolate through an uncaring frail state. 

 

I developed a coping superpower years ago when the hurt got too heavy to carry

and fearful my void calling to dive right in would stragle me into my grave

I managed to alleviate the outbursts by navigating the page, looking the other way

"But that's okay, I guess today I'll care a little less."

and I truly do, 

for as long as we do not interlock eyes you do not exist, stored away for a rainy stormy day

I do not look pensative friends, you have been fooled

I am meditating on the void:

all nothingness, always empty.

 

if they remember me, I won't be spared 

what a disaster, the hand that made it broke

in need of mediating investing in myself,

I wish you would be

happy,

everlasting after.