i shan't go just yet. it is my time in the spinning wheel.

writing naked in a lonely place

unsafe, unclean, not quite ever enough space

this graceful memories I hold a sentimental stake over

they put the devils eye upon me, no longer said to trust

high marks, a great achiever, we look away awaiting for dust to flirt

because no one ever calls, words in a screen carry less weight

not good enough after all is said and done.

replace my blood for gold

substitute my lungs for machine (parts)

with vibrant silver lux we pour top to bottom

oil, expensive metal and many other things

chips that connect, whatever for we forget

the bluesprints we cannot understand

the plans have outgrown the scale

the only castle I was ever capable of explaining

I thumpled these cards and stained them with blood

off a cut of a finger 

and for that I am ashamed:

I shall do it again,

this time I felt the cut run deeper

the whispers louder, the flush stronger

it is a mercy truly to take it easy it seems

playing with my senses hoping it eventually makes sense.

taken legacy for granted in exchange for peace of mind

pushing back, down, in vain we breath in unison

an act of mercy, a respite for the broken denied a place to go

thought the meaning of life would slide by the door

just as the flood tied up and they gorged in drink

bloaded walking corpses meant to explode a cheap coffin

searching high and low for the rulebook 

acknowledging that if this roundabout is a game

some are bound to lose, thrown out with revered silence

your compromise is an happy median to a disgusting degrading empathy

hope cannot feed the blind, nor force them to see

your kingdom in ashes father

the broken bones exposed, unburied and these wounds

festering cadavers starving for sinners

hold my hand for once as we step into the sun

so it might toast us clean of this flesh that became our downfall

no salvation without judgement: your fucking words not mine,

I merely come here standing in pursuit, a hard testament to an attempt of clinginess

sex a birth call that in contempt granted me parents that selfishly left me far too soon

did not need nor wished for me and were therefore blessed with 3 too many

I fear all this is as true as the defiant gravity.