What is granted can be taken therefore I abdicated.

woodpecker woodpecker drilling at my door

what bringings can you pursue on the arms of Autuum 

what other tones of questionable timing can you suggest

the reading bores me and the words melt down the page

the rage will not subsise, my breathing stalling

the heat, the wave, the stationary consultation

to concede leap, defear or otherwise social etiquette

watch carefully for I might believe it myself.

firestarting a catastrophe we can barely recognize

no longer a parasite, the caged animal has had enough,

I can no longer bow to the sun and breath the concrete lining ofuscates

the splendor I claim for my own, thumpling the tower (used cards, burn the deck)

I always suspected my words could not change anything

To this day, livid, paranoid, absurdiny afraid to notice things have remained the same

my presence is eateble, digestable and overall not nutricious to the system

feel the pulse, take notice and remember well, did we ask for this?

my word is good

my promise holds steel truth

the shine translucent, toes quiver

eyes vibrate, a ride that we took for granted

once before, why not yet again?

may this claim dispel bad weather all the same

it is during sleep the thorn crown is laid to rest

in repose the chambers of thought lose face

and embrace the gratification we lived another day

the feeling of loneliness and fear is put to the sword

and we see dark, we merge, we fly ever and forever.

the angels present the vile stench of morarity

hold a second fella may I study this contract page ca-re-ful-ly

whilst that go take a hike, respectfully, before we have a scene

got a chip in my shoulder and the rat won't stop nagging at it

_____________________________________________________________

today we play! (the getaway alarm shattered)

we set loose the boundaries of society

moods shall swing, relationships lost and reforged

from stranger to brother we sank anew

amidst peers and friends for those that join

can't resist the earned title

enthusiasm, let's have some fun

curiosity or chance opportunistic coincidence eh

all bound to change as blood and energy levels pump

 __________________________________________________

the future is so. damm. noisy! blinding neon lights

those that do not blink. Imagine, has techonology zeroed out effort

the absolute nerve, and worse still, you can feel it at the pulse.

A belt of spacebars crowd the sky in patterns, accident free since 2200.

Odds are, next year, in 2201, we will still be dulled by outstanding A.I impulses

stunt perhaps by the lack of working lunges. or was it lungues and we discarded legs and exercise?

anyway, I miss colour really. I dreamt of nature and wildlife sporting along

the concrete jungle, the cities have it worse

the landscape multiple and unrepenting

vampires afraid of natural daylight, we better keep it dark

prolific and of a certain adquired taste, vultures exchanged for insomniacs

 the eye and lense fuse

a silver so unnatural it is theorized it does not exist. Levitated by the power of believing,

a marvel of

weird

F

our

________________________________________________________________________

Help was not coming

on the note of caution, it arrived late

the aroma of feeling out of discontent

they know something we will never know

a blossom of sorts, rubberband and swolen pride aside

yearly check-up, fair dues, yes doctor, no doctor, never doc

straigten back, held core, why not dream of something beatiful?

sapped of strength, defient to the lack of sight

shove over, I will dare die another day

leap and bounds, intact dental record mind you, sharp edges divulge conseguences

out of breath, contained in a song, always a song that promises empty truths so malleable

like the friendships that were meant to be started over never achieving true closure. 

you would do better not taking a peek after all

grey walls bled white by murky tempers and hasty hands

devour the crime, damage done the hard way

someone call this man, it has been a minute

bring a camera along, save the date, watch this space. 

__________________________________________________________________________

I turned my phone off and hooked a book from the shelf

one I face every year 'round this certain calendar stage

we come and go in waves in a lull state of wallowing and fever

not quite satisfied we meditate, mediating the burdens we destroy within

to pour out akin to a ritual tribute, mourn and bruises aside

we get talking in an empty room until we beg, we have had enough.

speculation thrives in a festering wound conceived at the womb

trial by desire we couldn't hide the scandal of what's wrong

a miracle the overgrown forest did not split concrete from skull

putting right fright to the cynicals, the absolute spectacle.

this is not a metaphor, we are miserable and have had quite frankly enough.

push and left to hang, the dirt carries a weight overbearing and it stinks of discontent

presently the bodies lay cold, too far gone and we cannot afford the proper burial

blissful prayers must suffice.

trade the soul for a chunk of bread and change

a penny we exchanged for the thought of hope

__________________________________________________________________________

I remember a time when my mom sang me to sleep

every single night she would dance with the stars

invoke heroes and princeses, legends and tales as tall

as the word could travel and her song rang true

her word was good.

time was cut short

memories decayed, 

faces now blurry

the laws dictate I forget the colour of her eyes

just as much as the earth shall take mine

tempers under control

promises on hold we are told we may let them go

for my anchor is my mantra, my temple, my sole existance in quake

my word is good.

_________________________________________________________________

saw a rat mouse about, spin around and dash into a bush

as rain splinked me into reality

pulling me out of a dream within a scene

I carry within me, taunting me to step inside

a warmer place where we dance atop tables

and the only bad thing how sleep separates us

interwined funeral with a homecoming celebration.

broken glass

fingers linger, they drag across skin, never with violence

a sting, the eletricity levitates a childish glow

we grimace nose to lip, happiness intertwines in my forehead

we are hopeless, of this we rest assure and we could not care less as we vibrate

the connection resonances between human skin and what's within

or so the chemicals want us to believe, fencing your worth, so be 

shrug my shoulders and brush off the dusty bits

console the heartbeat with a sway and whistle unto the wind

become one with the mellow feeling, ever needy and it shows

to feel skin crawl is such a trill, 

guess I am a megalomaniac, There, I said it.

do we get to eat the clouds now? decorate them a brighter lick past grey?

be taken in and swirl my head 'till it make us hurl

these fragilitiy of wordplay is merely a demo

the worse has yet to come and my hands cramp, fuck.

partial to human glow, charming I suppose

is it just me that juggles pain infused with small print

corresponding to conditions we forgot to meet

fighting fire with fire does not make it any easier

do you follow the heartbeat stuck on the inner walls?

can you time the hesitation, fresh from the exercise

where flesh meets the ground and nightmares creep in

dare joy match, the options are seemingly finite

light it, strike it, waste it all

second chances should not exist

cursed be the notion,

repent and lament this suffucating hope

that anchors and pins down under

on the hallow void where elephants wander

when they are due time;

may the sentence be fierced and nineteen lashes be added to their name,

so relentless, pursue skin with a lit cigarette and leave a burn

ask no further seeing you mistook my words for a spell

and a careful pursuit for mercy.

 

secrets leave me awake at night

they open the closet door, 

they leave the window ajar as a provocation

can't you see they are poisoning my mind?

tapping my feet, one, two, thr-

i ask myself how am i supposed to be

it was regal, a colour of distain stuck on the horizon

a pastel of hurt mixed with blood and broken hate

misguided, the fog sobers up

upwards the state, the stakes

so typical to dance to the rythm of someone else

we used to care so much and it shows

a note by the cadaver we drag alongside pride and self-doubt

it teethers and it blinks but it never disconnects

I feel it, make me vibrate and hurt

the precipice holds the song or so they see it

believe it it is not a miracle so get on my lap,

I hold the key but I hide it well, turn tail and make haste

lap around the bend and cut the cord that unites this disgrace

it does not get easier, they lie and they are not fine.

 

to be a stone cold killer is so oldschool

a forgetful tale of bullets and offline content

a throwaway age of waste and decay

far, far away wouldn't you say, eh?

a man hidden in children clothes

emerges from within abundant and clear

we do do nurture what we pray and sought for

despite the lost at any given battle we fought for

the war is not hopeless and the banner stands tall

complicated surely is an understatement to display sacrifice

battered beaten down men: faceless, nameless men we denied

a seat by the fire when they were and they are buried down under, cold.

a duality between a scream cut short, silver faces that were meant to be another day

 

hooked on ecstasy, tainted by paranoia and a scent of lost sleep

suddenly I am invaded by a near miss deep familiar sorrow

a creep, he lingers and borrows time

never felt like a profit, an investment worth the trouble

lesser demon, a petty thief distorting reality

it does dawn on me that I no longer spell O-B-E-Y

discontent with having my breath crawled down to an indecent pace

the hunger shall overcome the sinner.

 

we are too far past the boundaries of the dream

what is the piece I am missing?

where is safe to settle a home? why do they keep asking me why do I stand HERE like I need to justify

an hypocrite I came to resent society and look for excuses to lash out and dispel this rage

my walls tremble under my fist and I shrink face to face with the demon

she reaches out to me

inviting me towards the open door

promising me everything gets better on the other side

I half believe her and thankfully I have a terrible sense of direction

and stumble upon the crossroad to rest

a reprise of a vision that once came to me

one I pretended not to see nor believe

a soul, a romantic notion.

reconcile the taste of rain with the pain in her smile

the hunger in her eyes led to a deeper sorry state of sorrow

I was not careful nor did I care enough in accounts for bad weather

amidst this storm we feed the worms festering the ground

the very snakeskin we abandon becomes the memorabilia that electrifies the collection

a random prize, a fruitful bounty for the bareback bones of old

a hunters trophy we couldn't wait to return, looking over the shoulder

in a lovers wounded pride we bite down harder

ain't that a pretty fucking miracle?

it raises the hairs as I stroke my neck covered in sweat

stay your hand and observe the candle burn at both ends

they say we dug our own luck from pennies and fool's gold

they say the divine touch is a mistery, the devil bleeds drama

understanding what confort can attribute meaning to scars

with reckeless throwaway chatter we engage a revolving door

that does not placate the bleeding, this running well oh let the river flow freely

blank stares in raw disbelief interlocks eyes

occupies space we consider whole, where's the getaway car?

these are the games we lose at

rituals enchanting, unrelenting

sever bone, devour flesh, take apart the sheep

daughters no longer caged, fishes leashed by contempt

captured and trapped in the bottom of a barrel 

if we don't get over the fact we are different understand we drown young siren

betrayed by expectation, exposed to the wolfes

a sand clock shatters pouring, flushing out at an angle

that was deemed necessary, a voluntary proposition to hell

take confort in the scratch, the tear, the sharp ting as the teeth sink in

 

there is a trade-off in action

boredom negotiates with the fervour

there are trapped keywords seeking to escape

these prisioners on deathrow

destined for a wall stare down, 

matching the gaze of a rusty rifle waiting to go off

wanting, lusting, desperate and its will is not even

will the hunger take us first?

 

another year another tick pays installments

living rent free in my shallow mind

a vibration that dangles my neck

the headbang, the dizzy spell oscillated

perhaps my protectors have lost all hope

the negotiations were dropped and condeemed

hollow, shallow and impertinent needs

tattooed across the insides of my throat

underneath my upper stiff lip

across the wrist.

ever lost, never found.

 as the day stretch I wrestle down bubbles of moody evils loosely alike

the connections we draw they grow nearer to the heartbeat at times

I pick up the pieces and they dig deeper from the scabs to the heavier trenches

they bake within the friction, no longer obstacles of fiction they turn mistake as I turn pages

into a faded grey, the doom lingering feeling of finishing an epic novel and feeling empty

the caffein fades, the synergy disconnects and we enter a cursed state of half a person

bent in waking up without courage to run the course nor write a story

a mickey mouse avenue, the fool cruising for a bruse knocking on tables for attention

beware of the tumpling effect young soul may this life be best suited at a timely fashion

a hole we dig anew and rightly so identify as a fresh take on burrowing time by burying it

with uneventful pursuits, stalking fear underground where no man can see the sky

and therefore the stars cannot guide the lost, the confused and we partake of the hologram after all

an halos can be a shadow, a mirage on the guise of self-reindentification

re-tries are finite but boy do we love seeing the fire burn on the colder nights

the embers eclipse all worries, melting and vibrating in a chanting dance that pulls you in

a chemical draw we do not respulve for we do not possess the instinct nor desire to avoid said flame

sit about as paradise floats about ever fleeting and etherial friend for we choke words and apologies

a bitter remedy for the hours we no longer share and the space between us we did not pace and no longer felt hidden meanings, if we regret it we don't remember.

can, shall, would measure and that is just not okay.

in the face of reckoning we whisper a curse disguised as a question

can pure, eternal power sweep the fallen and pull them further

to the realm of peace. 

in absolute overwhelming absolving not splelicit absolution

a decisive strike

may we come to regret it too

even good things must come to an end

so why must sadness invade ahead of time? and take sweet revenge in my storm

how dare you be calm as the sound drums louder.

I would do it again despite the outcome

two shots down and I can no longer read the danger signs

may the kingdom colapse at the threshold

may the gate sustain and endure enough along the curbs

for my people need passage and my back cannot carry them.

that is a villainy and at the bottom of a bottle we find a failing problem

liver colapses and we drown sorrows for we are scared of dying

it is both hard to satisfy and to realize triumph

for we are bugs to be stepped upon

or giants swole with contempt

 coveted, intoxicating, bruisers for love bites

down to the core the particles walk with us;

we haven't had enough:

the angel struggled in the fall

it did little to alter the blow

or soften the ground

paralyzed by the recognition that we are flawed by design.

gonna enact a battle and stand there like money

was a walk in the cellar, hostage and all

we carry on and clap as the show has us calm in the palm feeling like prestine casanovas

hella' alive, we feel better with cigarettes marks in our arms and scars in our hearts

a massacre must unfold, remember we asked for this

exchanged friends for trophies

the children too

lord we spared none

and now there is no one to take our cause,

to take us out of the dark.

pulled curtains at sunrise

 the very earth is burning, enough to be taken from me

this lothing, this feverish relentless everlasting bad to worse tendencies

erupt already you fiend, concede defeat in this hellish wave

the one of many to come should we not repent.

 

vanity is taken for granted and I feel no shame

it pains me to no end to drag the carnage forward

to satisfy peace of mind we condeem others to the evidence

we partake of their flesh in binding, desperate, love intrusions

take shelter in the skin leaving no space, leapfrog to the end

peel off this hunger layer by bite by nail by eye

break bones, break a sweat, no turning back now.

can one capture this bark shell of instinct

and institutionalize it, frame the middle man

to compensate for his lost we shall blurry the screen

ofuscate the audience and keep them guessing

it adds to the dramatic effect and delays repeating lines

no need for subtitles for the lost and those confused

by the time they realize the crime we will be far away.

 

my memoirs hurt me

anxiety steals my breath

a sort of phantom pain chases me in the silence

I stop, I break

I begin to dream again, in those moments I do not bleed

nor know who I am

in a silver ring I linger a promise to try

and so I drag myself towards a perceived finishing line,

may it be allowed.