A most unsettling email.

It required no introduction going forward
It would appear my presence canned a macabre banquet
It came swift, a bolt clung to the spine, stank of carnage
It stood at hold for mommy dearest floating with ghosts

A master plan unfolds sweet child, this show blows!
Circus is in town parading everywhere, truth be told
Maniacs and the worse scum float down here
Axes in toll, violence at a fling throw, merry unfolds

Frantic callous memories bargain for attentive miracles
That the pencil and the saliva smudge as a star to curiosity
To match the shallow hereafter with dignity I propose
Decapitate the messenger, desecrate the pupils and hang:
the masters, the eminent and those that savor disaster
Let the rivers run in fair abundance, silvery glee pointy filth
Observe the mocking angels sink like tomb stones (control)
Sever flesh from skin like a poorly timed gag, one touch too close

Made my mind to dial my demise and call, unleash the whip
On Mothers Day I was dead set on picking up a fight
Misstep wisecrack and it does not get easier so dig deep
For the butted end of a joke, bip bip bop, blink and she's gone

Fought threads round my neck to trail them off my chest
Who said you only get the 1 out of a million? Uh uh hun

I once took care of a suicidal goat going by Emerald
The jewel of my bosom roped too tightly eloped too soon
Willingly trapped in a rats maze in authentic disarray on a sunny day
Leap my globes, torn in weep over form, trashy tender fingers
Lodged to massage that itch in manners most intrusive
Polishing my newfound blindness status frost and hallow.

There can be only one king in my domain summer child
It springs to mind in whispers, the king gets off screams.
Reckoning the sailor muses, fixated on cleaning the toilet
Casts a prominent net, broader on winter.

Desist, do it my way

Spoils defender by maggots parading on sight
Warm bouncy tit hung tender muddy and rough
Milk clung to shit and snot in a valleys's river
Shovel the hiddey-hole under tutelage of another
Slaver meant for ruin, coagulant reintegration
To the sphere, rasped humid cloudy travels parked
Moths lodged on my gut brought green and red wires
Now resurfaced, now exposed
'And I dont want you to adore me
Don't want you to ignore me'.
Put another quarter will ya?

Was it worth the cost? Bring it in, be that lucky one.

There is a Tinkerbell in repose, lucky one
At leisure; taken shelter over the window
Collecting lovers dust gone wrong
Fishing for a promiscuous destiny on the run
Took the messenger hostage, menacing host
Consider him fortunate to be breathing unevenly
On the other side of that curtain lay skeletons
And curses suspended in held breaths
I speculate that I enjoy remunerating the mere sight
What's worse than knowing I caused it?

It makes for an intriguing dancing partner through the night
An entire pantheon of opened up recollections
To polish and reforge the stale memory with fairy dust
And put hard fought lessons to waste by getting confused

To make her life my business in a roller coaster of trajectories
Those bread crumples better rot mighty slow else I feel enticed
To get lost in the trill of a someone else's elven song

Applause please, I do need some to get by-a-bye
A paddle to facilitate and stretch the livin' act

I can only interpret what I can further medicate
Guess and take by adequate measure the portion due
Be it bowl cut and short round the bends, faulty in denial

In lucid ecstasy I consort with the improbable
In hopeful drowning wavelength, up, down, afloat
Friendly fire in retrospective, Russian roulette when all in

Traffic lights take me back to the arms of someone that smelt and felt right.

Tic-tac-toe twist the shoulder of that ho

Traces the veins, compulsion erupt to the core

Gut the pearl, lick the foundation, child's play

Tic-tac-toe bend the hip, compress the tail

Vivid headbanger, blackout submerged response, a pulse

Waltz hand in ankle, composure flimsy and blunt

Simon said war, and so we hacked and bashed and tore

Joint in an uninspired reenactment of feral descent 

Dance to the tune of bullets, towards loved ones we ran

Hidden were this thoughts iced over clay pleasantries

Shook in inevitable rotundas, out to an outstanding loan

Pressed to flip the volume in abundance as we feast  

_________________________________________________________________________________

Burned bridges now, really
The nest remains wishful thinking.

Red sore eyes tail traffic lights

Like those that lit the pathway.

Fleeting compression trigger the alarm

theurgencyingettingpastthefactbecausenooneelsesetsthestandardofpatheticandthosebelowain'tshit

Vaulted gasping inner breaths 

Ain't taking the risk today

Not picking up the phone

Agony in burn out, fashion

Same two tunes on speed dial

In resurgent random motion

Clock off by the 11th

The woes of the mighty

Aline in tribute to Babel

The hubris in suffering

The undertaker steps on my toes

Cracks my joints, bathes my stench

Furthers my essence, neutral dipped shell

Worship in recollection soothes my hunger

Forget not the interlocked fingers

In passage lips carriers of delight

and the abomination of the tear

Traffic lights bring me pain

For I oblige in the consideration

That in pause a r-reflection

From green eyes to yellow hair

A red mist strangles the frame;

I stay awake at night solely

because my dreams do not involve me.

Saturday has been plain

chasing that high again
riding assumptions the concern
that if only had I been gifted
gotta try again, singing graces
the future refutes the flame
flask, elixir of dark powers
flaky shambles of alien memorabilia

Seers imprint; mental agility spent
Sorting out the puzzles of daily jazz
Crack the crystal ball/ twist it round
Greasy eager fingers, freshly dyed hair
New year, woes that attack the core
Raise siege to the border of the question
Cement the space between doubt and a scream
Vibrant tasteful tune such is rebellion
Mellow voice, handpicked speech 'hell-o'
Orb stolen by rogues and  buckles
Let us sweeten the deal with ice-cream

Meditating on a chair nesting detachment
My hands alone cannot fabricate the stuff
that dreams are composed off
Nurturing an headache side by side
An empty slot of time pre-selected
An electrifying colorful stream
No way I can step on that lane
I heard it be a dreadful hub of freedom
_________________________________________________________________________________

It crept on rapid like a crawling cockroach that learnt how to fly induces panic and groovy shoves, outbursts of enduring hate

It fell flat to condense, condolences really, like a mute flash mob instructs a riot to take up arms against the villainy of obesity

It came to be wonderful like a halve conjecture severed during birth hip lodged dwarfed aspiration that coincidentally bore sustenance

It entangled me still like her voice mused, in words untargeted, in free flow, homemade exchanges edged a buzz now distant and blurry

It dances in the fingertips like a coin skillfully shaped to entertain the idea of a pause and silly discarded lukewarm dolmen silhouette

Like us in my re-collective, selective, memory. It's a past, formal really, form of self.

Read faces; mixed results.

As I rinse the scream, sore gums
Rasped throat, stuck in a row
Golden echo, gotta go (there there)
under the sunset, honestly (it felt great)
Once as a kid I found joy in changing
grace display of figuring out
From here and there I came to impress
anyway..

The day depicts a one in a million Christmas miracles
As flesh came once more, normality and ease
for some, ate fears and make-up, clear airways
From here on glee, we forget the past
Left it all behind, we own the night
Conundrum off a miles, vice, lit a candle
I am after all petrified of the dark
A seducer that whispers sweet nothings
Brings comfort to my still heart, a coward

To be thunderstruck, overwhelmed
reborn anew, flesh bare ajar atop this
process of being downloaded, planted the seed
of burning a cruder nature, pure joy
A delight to be left confused and breathless
helpless to content with this disease
To be her only one
and return to my mother victorious
Devout and worship the ground blessed by her feet
Surely I cannot be the only one.

How the spectrum lingers in a tilted lip
As I long to have her part my hair
And that confirmation, in linked two ways
How long did I long to return to the glow
ever so special, the smallest block of space
Occupied and the gatekeeper knows my name
By heart and soul-bound, a temporary friend
A figure that eases the passage as the top
of the mouth, the tongue dances in circles
and Swallow, fly downwards and chop the cord
The same old tune rusts the transaction

Repair, amends through fried brain, a poison
To frame, the nerve! rattles the limbs numb
equate to a singular spider threat, in need of trust
sing-a-long, for the old me
timer alarm frank tonight, putrid yellow rose
alas, dry shores are mere siren calls
echo to the fallen ones, heroes from tales lost

save yourself little one, mind the gap
will the leap of faith land the mark?

Repress the scream, regress to a fetus

From the bosom, for the umbilical cord

Protected from troublesome whining 

a time of crisis, of everlasting pain

Results, of wanting to be

Either decapitated or simply less

Afraid, recurring nightmares

Troubled once, I recall in pry lapse of judgement
Not uncommon, it has been known to be better
When we wake up, when we were able to
Admire the stars and get up
Face the scream and release the shade
That suffocates, dry the words by rants
For I am not what I heard
or what I was, I erased, I changed

The cocoon holds tight, so nicely wrapped
as nicely boxed it could (should not)

as I needed it to be, safe from the picture

of another life that could had been

Over there, nearer to the light

of thunder and warmth; of unity!

And pitch perfect harmony

The bottom of this lagoon receives,

the elements, the unexpected and

the apocalypse in due time,

An ascension proven righteous

To cure, fix, mold, unfold:

It dawned upon the boy
that Beyond the Hill
came another, taller in purpose
an apparition devices imagination
Tinkles with the vice, up the tempo
sets a gear, unstuck ,therefore, emotion
He came to drown in the empty ocean
Some are born blind, others perforate willingly
Lawless perpetrators of the silver lies, tapped minds
Came to exhaust my patience, so I have been told
Bought by easy indifference, in soft distaste, shout
Because the border is crunched between us
And I guess I just needed to know

Yet the bloody gums remain
for the words, hallow, came short
unsatisfying to the touch, slipped up
breathing too costs a token prize
traded silence for being misunderstood
condemned to being forgiven and lost
wait, what came to be is not what I wanted
I may be mad because I could endure forever
waiting for a click, plus one, in order of two

a conclusion, turn the page.  

Not my story.

Rotten to the core,
sugarcoated memoir
found fault in the pace,
stolen breath, 'oi mind the false step
known regret, much too soon
embrace death, congealed blood at the depth

of this well, shone by moonbeams
readdress the allowance of contempt
instead, through thin walls, cruel words
truer silhouettes held in prestige
pristine shadowy state of undress
shallow toenails, caked in dirt and rage
a storm attested, a cliche.. (I know)
foment noxious intent, torment
monumental overlap of character
'oh well', we fell under a spell
a drink too, capsized by choice
We all out tonight lookin' up
A spark that ought to ignite
Approval or distraction
I get a an odd vibe.
Shook and restless,
a swarm buzz, what a drag,
puts her soul on the line
swears I used to care
fiction truly, not my story
Prove me wrong.

Agitated are the sober ones
in attribute, tribunal report
ought to play down the heat
a rangers attitude on a field
snow coats my humanity
proves me right, warmth
drawn the line, revives it
How to be a better a son
brother, friend or call it quits
royalties abdicated, be none
cured by irony, proved her right.

Forgo obscure faces lodged on empty names.

Thanatophobia held my scalp
Forged lingering chains of harmony
Ever fleeting, quick paced friendship
Meant to burn young and bright
Not quite what we came here for

Mementos latched at the shrine
A familiar stench triggers the alarm
One two, raid, figures we do
Owe wonders to nostalgia and Déjà vu 
A cursed closed closet bounces whispers
to the curtains, cutting a cunning picture
Allow thy sweet paranoia to gather dark
Gothic thoughts of ghosts and despair

To-morrow we retake the hatchet
Summon unpredictable allies, rally
Going backwards head first unto the swamp
Where myth meets the extraordinary
Origin a flair, dramatics in circulation
Tale of wonderful, over that side eh
Did you hear colors can fly?
Rainbows float, sprung to life
Weighty hand rests on the shoulder
Ancients claws assist, reach that nasty itch!
Depose the stump sovereignty fairy tales

Music and poetry alike are wasted on me
Dyslexic, the magic fades once I fix the lyrics
Glee in hammering the wall, rearrange the wall paint
In vast taints of polka dots, carmine and ever so pretty
Carnage fed Carmen 'till forcefully she bloomed 'cos
Brushing my bruised head, pasty hair makes me believe
The jig is up, chemical induced and about to cease
Figures I condone love to any but one, let it be.
All but hellish teeth, brushed shoulders with my enemy
Alright, I'll sway, shushed, to the tempo, a mere toy
Slow, eternally, once I too enjoyed the mellow taste
Of the common thread that link us as one.