Last entry.

I once fell ill, erased momentarily
The spoken word, unsavory
Empty, collapsed at my bosom
Worlds shattering at a hallow rhythm
The closet no longer haunted
Rather empty at that
and it feel genuinely awful
Tragic to be left to my devices
However macabre, truthful
To the memories that bought us here
The gap, a menace, outerly blow
Sang true, fearless and relentless
To my fears, panic, agony, free
From shackles bound, to the void
And if to my fate I was left
To it all I owe a debt, that is all.

Problematic indeed to answer
Define, explain if one will
What went wrong, what came to be
From the vision, intent, alas
We met, crossed paths and carried on
That is all.

My soul afflicted
Under duress because it knew
Once, more then one truth be told
Caress, tender love and compassion
Inflicted wounds, self-harm goes to show
Hatred produces suffering in equal amounts

Sinister spectrum
Equates to the horizon
Well traveled and predictable
At least 'till now, be honest.
Take a bite, I'll survive
To share among brethren
Blood bound , borrowed, hysterical
For we deserve, therefore we desert
In waves, round buckets of piss
For if ones cares he is foretold to meet her
The facade of regret, unblessed shade
For every single one of these friends I met
I carry the weight of their presence within me
An avalanche of investment, backwater
terrain that led into my home.

I may listen, I cannot speak
The handle is broke
Beyond repair
The gateway to salvation
A foxy little bugger
Blackout, blind to the fold
Timings sparkle conundrums
Let it be and live
Survive young one
That is all.

tristeza nao tem fim, felicidade sim

Which witch ill concern hatched nab
Tipped toed to rope me in with lullabies
Of starlight, a cosy family affair sat
Bye the by granted custody, rectified fireplace
Consents unresistable, crooked museum
Played a melancolic tune at every toilet
Spoiled myself rotten with intent burned
Flipped over coin, thophy jacks, monkey acts
Anything to get by son, his wings temporary
straight edge my laminated ass

Supress your hunger or your innocent I shall timely pierce!
Hold those hands closely to your eyes, at the blink a verge!
Delightful little one your entrapment shines down; careful!
A globe shatters at my feet, strings resonate, a handle flips!
Resolute, palms sing of betrayal, fleet beggings, reckoning!

At the mercy of gospel, the night, decorum and the irracionality
that ran deep, inside.
Decap that gun son, falling in reverse has blind sided yours truly
go soft now, outside.

What do you mean?
Glaring heartbeat overclocked
Dock those wishes under the moon
That ought to do you good
Plastic roses lay on the floor
Sticky syrum drums down
Tip drip dimes trips over
The usual suspect, a golden spark
Muscles contract, keys on ignition
devils pacts, blood worn out, I want the truth
Could swore I tried my darn hardest
did I blink twice, got scared over the sound
of bombardment, of feeling out of place

Guess I forgot my name is human
and if Life finds a way to be part
of this equation, to balance the odds
In the fight, the struggle to find it
we are one, not the same and at war
Needed time to figure it out
Getting back up from the drop
Least they come back to finish the job.

As if to a knock, I react.

Should have left that door alone
Stepped inside my dreams
A doorway, the gate leads, revolves
A natural catastrophe I chose to ignore

Noisy distractions amount to pitiful
Quakes of want, a rapture lays to waste
A state of decay, pain and everlasting gallows
Fit for king, fools and wizards. Plus the one
Whose willing, to trial through fire
Could had chosen the axe,
crossroads to the date
it had to be me.

Tempered to a shallow halo
Keeping us both sick
I speak in tongues to flare up
Curtains, walls and go the distance
Hoping they pick up meaning
To see meaning in their eyes
'Cos I don't. Make believe bite chunks
There's ever so much gut feeling alone
Can mold until the time to give it up
To own fault, recognize superhuman feat
Or ignite the man responsible, fine.

Everyone now and then
Call it a million years, invoked curve
Off a margin, silence is abandon
As if to a knock, I react.
My ears twitch, nail carved inner palms
Gone through the motions
Raise no waves, nor voices, set to wait
Chasing a dream, complete absolute darkness
The yearly mark we have came this far
Apocalyptic resolution, unfounded

Than be lost. walk out that door
Counter attack the tidal bloom
I do not believe in myself
For I stood by my queued mistakes
In distain I devoured my guts
Spitballed deformed ugly words
Best left unspoken, untold
And I do not trust the process
Of time, of getting old
Therefore I hate this day
For I do not trust old people
Nor the young, the naive
and those in love, be kind
Comprehensive extension
Conflicted mercenaries abide
To the highest bidder, sucess
Compassion for the weak
The frail, the dead and me.
A grey area to set a number
Tagged to extend a hand
To the masses, the blind
And the meek 

Escavate for pity, stroke a nerve instead
Kill
Gold digging, fool's errant, ransom fit for pirates
eyepatch irrelevant over the good eye,
walking backwards on the plank
Goodbye
Smirk as they come, capped them jolly caps
kneel and pray dreamer, entrapment for us all
Burn it to the ground, more kerozin pronto
Arms race for sore distress
and my primal sexual surge
as the rope burns, scratches and tightens
her composure stiffens and her consideration
pale and blue, maddening for I am madly,
ever so easily swayed by this violent wave
to carve the skin, brand her my own,
entirely a plaything until which my essence
is consumed, mouth links to my oblivion
I am truly lost as my hands rest at her feet.
Leave

Should the bottle tear
The compass of my morals
Exposed crystal jaw breached
Cannot afford to snap my fingers
The moment, lost, who goes there?
No signal still from up nowhere
Only bruises from knocking down walls
Bashing, trashing, clinging for dearest life
The pendulum at the bottom drawer
To the left, calibrated with blood
Shines familiar and bright
and I am always listening.

News report on the finally intolerable

Pages marred in a toxic soluction
Above the cause, raise a fool's request
Away with the blues, purge the taste
Too close to the entrapement of your lips
Livid state, mud for a bed, I'll drink to that

Your silence is mesmerizing, self-sabotage
a mere coincidence.
Cheeky on the verge of imminent, so I swore
Store the jerks, compulsive weeps, audible,
another engraved tombstone
Reckoning to those that survived
the melancholic violence, are you listening?
On the recourse of my darkest hour,
a plague was denied.

Corse stench, hair turned flat,
tame in otherwise planitude, turned on
My cavity walls tremble, heart gone quiet
ringtone deafness summons the report.
Abort.

Thus fire cleansed thy half parted heart
Thus wicked politeness bred virulent fear
Thus inventive ways of skillful
Transgressions dodge reality.
Let it be enough.

Set this world ablaze, alight the motives, engage.
Spin the wheel, unto which the mule's broken back
Not a farse, not a deflected trickery of thy eye
For my sleeve is a scarred skin weld, peeled naked
A banner for days past, a shallow thine, token
Token indeed, whilst compare the gargantuan expression
of loveable indifference barren and thrown our way
Today and beyond the curtains of transaction licenced violence
Comically generated for sole entertainment, a distraction
Born from jealousy, nothing left to see.
To rattle the brain and shush the flies, buzz buzz
Buzz that alarm, it haunts my reposte
For I am an animal and thus I breath to feel
Thus fire cooks my insecurities, kills my enemies.
Rollercoster led by the coward, I feel stupid
Though my legs are jelly and my belly poison
The taste of modified emotion turns wrong
I hate the celebrations, can't swallow the thought.

The adult in the closet.

It started as a joke, of sorts
Of course it was never meant
To last, to vanquish in due time

Akin a blur
Foggy dreamy eyes
Serenate in a winter hill
Enchanted by snow
Resting in the muse's back

Alas, the magic forest was vast
Greater the distance, the will
Colapse in stain dreamer
Your body is ours to devour
Such is the road we upkeep
Forgotten the trickery
Forgiven the reason to start

And what of the door that lead
Beaming, a beacon to the Past
Unruly pitfalls, paramount call
Trapped in the closet
Never to be worn, never meant
To last, to fate the conquest
And the poor another test

Paramore imaginary
Should Theseus find resolve
She too takes upon the mantle
Queen for the eons
Eloped at birthright
Fantasy is not a charity dear
This axe is sharp and that's a fact
That too will be enough.

Nowadays the screens provide
The much needed shelter
Souls reflected in a maze
Hardwired to resolve
Hard fought victory dark warrior
Know now your daughter
Escapes the clutches of the revolte
Unto the bosom of an endless vault of magic
Thus breaking the curse of the closet,
Rest in peace.

If a tree could talk, bittersweet company.

The mailman came bearing anew
I remember a flash, faltering knees
First the snow, later the frost
A desirable darker tune
Hand in wrist, counting graces

Watchers whose soul were sold
Faraway ,invictus, up Violet Hill
Where we hear love resonates
Greater things past a dark year
Whose life we recall in anger

They folded my inibition
Or did I forgot to miss a turn.
If trees could talk, sing back to me
Shelter to those mean birds
Taunting me with gracious fragility
Peacocking airways, throat grows weary
Display what you meant and stay,
odds were, you end up changing
Get better now cornered by chance

I swore to God I would wake up
By walking the path of an exile
I would find what I was missing
Yet the reason I close my eyes
Is but a painful realization I am a fool

My downfall was linked to caring little
Kindred spirits do die young, 'ya know?'
My vitals are a letdown, facing blink company
Drugs are the pump that defines it, bittersweet
Incoherent laughter, oh boy did I had my doubts
Into the next one, no swindler act
The only remedy up my sleeve is agony
That once I am no longer lost
I will still find myself in that lane
'Cos boy do I love getting cocky.

Hallmark to caution catapulted
Out with the old, make it pretty
To see, erupt in truly frightning fashion
A dome out of reach in silver barb wire
We talked about gold, jewelry for later days
Drum beat trapped behind the ear
I am always listening, festering again.

Bench those dark clouds son
Hate cannot outrun karma
Nor in zest thump a lovers nest.

A fantasy we don't talk about
And no prayer elevates the suffucation
Amounts to dust in the air
Closet virtue spares rocket adventures
To be stripped bare, off decay U ask
Lord peel my skin, consume my organs
The chariot signals the pathway inwards.

A soul that burns slowly hasn't travelled
It's symphony knows no tempo
Turn it on son, explore through blood
Exchange wrong by song, well met
By bodily lyrical decomposer
Only then will you have been taught
How to love.
____________________________________
I remember the day with peak clarity
Pushed under, breath stolen
On borrowed time, about to drown
Deconstruct the fallacy son
Hold it up and you will learn how to swim
Only then will we go home again.

Fate does not intervene anymore.

I saw her study my palm, carefully
Ragged hands mirror edge ,asphalt
Gruff touch, uneven peaks

They thought I was a good man
She fought for a facade, not real butter
As easily fed though not tough as pigskin
Forged links coarsed beyond theft

Summer burned faster, I swear
We always knew; how it ends
A giggle that sets a rusty bell mute
The cannibal heart is under siege
Fate does not intervene anymore.

As sure as I stand in two feet doll
I do believe in time travel, the original sin
Are you aware you fool me your smile?
The street performers do the trick too
De-ja-vu, spoke softly blind, pause

For once we agree and it is sad
She felt it too and it breaks me
Wish I could kill Tonight
Join my betters in prayer
And the rest be bent in a cell

For the ordinary type a feast
Their existance is already hell

Time will play a part soon, d-accord?

Scales forsaken, cemetery stalking
Brave pants caught on fire
Put down a contrary lane of thought
A ghost held by a lassu I recognize
A doormat ever so gentle in welcoming
I blush, out of air and despair the surge
Words to live by engraved in fur
A recollection of sin left at the gates

Girl it does not translate, I swear
I might be dumb, can't read the atmosphere
Yes I hear you rearraging my ripcage
Barbwire dancing with my tongue
And we could tango but I am afraid
I would, perhaps, fall short of the task
And be unable to give way, love.

The clothes scatter, ammo to my defeat
To capture her wings and arrest her breath
To have her sing solely for me
I would master the art of silence
Cooperate with intent, playful mandman
Ah-oh-ohhh desperation incense to my conundrum
Are these butterflies fairies in disguise?
What did we even talked about..
Her lips quiver and sharks stroke battle
My spine shiver, the void calls
And I am always listening.