I (do not) know

who whispers under my ear

occupies the periphery of my glasses

and agitates my soul as the spell

of boredom reignites numbers and troubles

come aknocking, a mockery of a worrying tide

today-tomorrow-freak frenzy-weekend

mesmerizing grace, oozing confort and confidence

strikes me foolishly awake

as if emerging to a stage wide enough for two

where prior this soiled cage compressed bone to fused skin

trouble to the narrow split burning mind,

fairness loaded to rules and the right to rule

gets between me and you

yes all of you and it wound me further to

negotiate with apparations, ideals

that consolidate, remnants of scarless shine

perfection incarnate for they are where I shone brightest

happy as I am still for in sleep I turn and burn,

I shout, scream, fly and cry

as a child I heard her callback

now I dread to think what I would be ready to abdicate

"Just let me go or take me with you" 

a plain refusal to engage, for I trust

(I know) the die I cast is a gamble worth a grin

for I believe it is the day I die I shall remember

the password, the codename, her nickname, her silluete and her name

of my imaginary friend as a child 

or the ghost haunting me in uneven grace

to this day.