doctor what can you prescript, sad songs lately just do not quite hurt the same as if I was no longer welcomed nor invited to the ball and now I feel unsure I can love myself

crawling up my forearm

dragging along the guilt, bitter and daunting

at sight, venomous I am assured by insecurity

confused by the realization I cannot trust to identify what is real

distracted it was so fucking hard by the reflection of what composes the surroundings

lately my phone ringtone is my worse enemy and it did little

paralyzing my actions, controlling my reactions

pursuing to wash away the conflicts flying at a million miles that winter frostbite sensation of expectation meet disgrace

self-control is no longer enough and words might not suffice within the ears a buzz

to placate nor stem the overflow so loud that may follow

father you carved a map towards dignity without warning

that it stood so near and clear in an open rainy day across the dwarf gold

a leap away it sometimes blinds me from what I sought to strive, in full display should humanity triumphy upon thy enemy

a token anyway, do fade away dreamer of a dream as I choke tears

this scars and night terrors crash like wild waves at my core, my centre

chasing happiness like addictions chase highs, we never stood a chance

because we are not equal and that road is a hill on a steep incline friend

we are doomed to fail and I assure you should we suceed we would surely capsize

towards the other way and snowball towards our doom as surely as this tough love education

sows resentment and trapped screaming, there is however still skin to scratch

and doubt to nag at, have at, tryst at

I need not a doctor for my ailments  for

for you must understand it is self-inflicted  for

for my downfall can be prevented with due entrapment  for

bind my hands with handcuffs and leave me prisioner  for my sin is existing

as I struggle to my feet and jump off the ledge towards that rainbow

falling I do not forget is the easy way out, gravity is an ally you see?

I am stroke with curiosity to follow that same rain

downpour, down under

you ever felt the urge to run? well I just have to

I just cannot defy the urgency of today

when it surges and embraces so loud and clear

this is the way it has to be? that shit means nothing to me

you listen here, you do not own me and might as well disappear

blep blop off I go on a hop,

I am much better without and that I can be better still while waiting for a red moon to wish upon.