I accidently peeked up

upwards, upstairs as I stretched my neck

a risk I was bound to take once I let go

of the knot rolling my tongue

felt quite like something

an experience I quite have had enough

for both trys, for surely I had to blink once

as silence quivers, wanting

one more time, the last and first time

we came apart, none to blame

friends dissipate, counted days, nothing left to say

it chilled my veins to realize my music taste, hobbies, the chain of event unfolded

do not quite match the aroma now new, now disgusting my very core

shaken, one again, we are once again counting days

no one left to ask, none to lie to or for.

a friend once drew a portrait quite alike his vision of my facade

a pretend pretending to actualize what's real, again.

in the end, all the plans for the pleasure of acting with a certain disregard

for dear life, ta-taka-take-takeitallfuckingfuck;

once I took a vow of silence

a week better spent quietly plotting what came next

do not quite recall what words came first, I must have written it somewhere

wanted to be sure it came out right