go away 

there, I said it

 more than an afterthought

certain that I don't regret it, holy spirit

from distress we cannot escape

roped in to tremble along the walls 

of our inner shell far beneath the heart

if your voice is the addition I cannot divide

what I cannot fathom to begin to understand

the stomach butterflies are long dead

as the ash nibbles at my ankles

I sink to my knees

for one without crossroads

has to brave the unbeaten green pasture

an unforgiving path or so I perceive

to stand not a stance against chance 

for change is a peel of the wound far too soon

when, why, where, what:

transcended touch?

the transaction was interrupted, a defect causes a return

getting addicted to a foul mood induces rage

coming along for the bumpy ride

I don't think I am crazy,

rather, I pray I am immortal

invincible and condemned

I dream of a state of despair

goddammed to mob the floor in chains

it satisfies to put oneself down

along for the bumpy ride.