I wanna hate everyone around me
To clear a room, paint it beautifully
To wake up at dawn and do it all over again
Keep myself in check, in the edge of my seat
When will I slip, I couldn't wish for a better turn of events
A strong emotion demonstrates an equal proportion of devotion
A megalomaniac, suffice to say

Alas, Paradise comes as the prize
Of this wicked deformed show of freaks
Insanity demands a dull repetition
Off with these disguises, I dismiss myself so-so

Do not hold my hand in pity, friend
Take my advise as I crawl my sickness, away
Away with this reality of saints and dry ironies

What awaits me then
Should I not, withdraw, excuse myself
It is not, surely, the distance that disturbs
The signs were there
I assume my every pertinent presence was not felt
No one ever called, regardless
They might have perished the thought, foretold my arrival

To odds an end. I was forgotten as soon as my usefulness
Came at an end
Do not touch me with that sweet tongue, friend
Your familiarity stinks of vile intent
And I digress in my routine, I speak out of habit
Even though you disgust me so-so very much
You never came therefore, before I close this door
I shan't forget never to forgive
The offense is carved and well framed within the heart

Were I, to have a home to come back; too I could
Insult you and flee. Smile, possibly because I dare choose
Grow a guilty conscience growl
My ears are clean, momentarily.

I made a mistake, truth be told.
No one ever did take the blame
Sit by my side friends
Purge the thought,
I fail to contemplate the horizon
It is dark and blurry
When one hides afraid

As the barmaid turned
Oneself struggles to swim ashore
If, drunk, face down on a puddle
A familiar face does not pull you up.
Drowning is excusable, alas, I swim rather well
Let it be known, I am grateful
I tend to forget to show it
Gratitude this is, compassion
For both you and me

I dismiss change, I seek to improve
Wit and peculiar humor share a common trait
Off color, fantasy talks of tales and wonder
Granted my eye socket is dislocated
The drink swirling
The swamp, fairies trapped in this glass
My head slipped, hit the deck
A dark omen, a swollen pretense
Stolen pride see's none thus wisps
Crawl under my bed at night
worse, my company ain't God.

Denial is all that I have known
My bones can break
Far better to have a soul on the mend
And busy hands
Solitude warms up to the taste
Of friends and companions alike
As we sail forward into the unknown
Safe travels drifter
May your ship be made of the better stuff still
I came to be convinced

See-saw

Tell me love, what compels one
To linger about
To move beyond the shadow of doubt
and change to-morrow.

To break away, in pieces
Is it a choice? Or the consequences that followed..
Have you been feeling so hallow
That you felt regret? A compulsion to emerge?
Or would you rather regress to the womb,
and repeat the tiny inches you once called steps
as you nurture the wounds and lick yourself in shame

Sharp, for it is pain and it is sad and it is with disdain
that one lays broken
For this is not hell, nor his friendly neighbor

But wait, as a last request
would you consider,
as I answer to myself,
a dance? For the sake of farewell:
miss me never, I never do.

What I discard today is the price
At any cost I said, but I didn't meant it
I forsook them in order to escape
Alas, I shan't return not even if I could change
They remind me of myself
And I see it again and again
In this dysfunctional see-saw
Mind, I do tend to forget

Riddle me this: what drips just outside my bedroom window? How come my life doesn't cease at each drop? Ah!

I have had recurring nightmares
I dread night and all its evil kind
The dark, the shade and all what is grey
I fought hard to behave, to understand and take shape
Never to forget was my struggle, I swear!
To purge doubt and naughty intent my dilemma

Fake condescending penicillin, now I truly see
There is nothing ever as vexing as a shattered illusion
I was never truly stuck with YOU
All this time, wasted, not, for I have come to learn
Naysayers come in all sizes and colors
And loneliness is only a punishment,
when one engages in blows against a mighty high wall

With fervent passion I pray
Pleasing should you be
For pleads alone will not suffice nowadays
To hold dear to my heart
I have been cast away
And when distant I have been missed
My return is not a possibility
And here I remain, content that pain free
I be born again
To see the World in all this different
A whole multitude of colors
To climb, to explore, to share and behold; dearest
Truly, we are one and the same
But one seems to be missing out the rule
We both were set to lose by clash and sword
But I admit defeat and carry one as it is
Would you be able to do the same?
Alas, I await what time and only so-so
Unchains, sweet release, unfold unto me
A new dawn, more of this foolish believe
That a tamed life is well spent in expectation of a reward
I, for one, will pray there is no God
To punish Us for our Sins.
Let us Then not make a fuss
It ruins the Mood, disturbs the neighbors
A status quo has to be preserved, so I have been told.
Then again, the Sky was falling the other day

I will wait patiently for a sign.
Like a slandered politician
Obviously without the campaign
No support, only lies!
My Muse, nay! God..where have you been..

I hold at bay
a crippling loneliness
By dawn, rest assured, a resurrection
My resolutions are all but dissolved.

In need for an introduction
paved down a track of empty expressions
drown, grey faces, lost cases of ill times and lost hope
"You don't look yourself today"
As if it were not impossible to change overnight
Pontificate the miracle of followed advises and power of will.

My conscription by birth shall only lead to my death
I am ever so so cold and in agony
Furthermore my pillow remains mad at me

I am grown a terrifying condition of late
the symptom's dire, the body rests weak
a counter-reaction, an overdose of hypocrisy

I for one embrace this new turn of events
no longer afraid of the dark for I long the ticks
the scratches and the hallowing noises that fill the silence
what hasn't killed me since then burrows me deeper
Mentally exhausted I salute thy and lay dormant for now

Mother Tongue

A vibration, hearts beating

Birth by sleep, laughter bound to convert

Embracing the very air you reject

As we speak

Millions breath, overthinking

Peasants facing a steep cliff

Mutual understanding is but a dry lake

An oasis in this fading mirage and I blame the heat

An understatement, a blur mixed with blushing cheeks

Guilty consciences trigger false alarms and edgy goose bumps

C'mon I honestly do not mind the rain

Why the fuck must I object or waste my time

Complaining if I rather dance tonight?

Natural speaker, an echo really

We are all the same

Under one piece of fabric

We unite

So comprehensive I cry at night

In fear my Ism is ever lacking

I dream in pixels not tunes mate

I was born to procreate

Not entertain

And I do not find appropriate of late

How every sneeze is a death sentence

My ears itch and my hands are shaky 

I cut my wings

Awaiting anew, branding

#Steaming hot

Have it all, my heart and food for thoughts

My soul

Complain about the weather

Whilst I carry on swinging

My headache sideways

Dunno either to confirm or deny

Whether I balance or juggle my head

A tick? A broken fragment in need of a leash

Is that an order or a poorly elaborated instruction?

I think we are different

But mutual consensus leads me to believe otherwise

We are one and the same

We, see, the, same

Alas, no one is worth saving

This is not the end, this is the end of (off)

An emphasis on the worsen  ways
A blockade of sorts
Means and ways
From which (I wish) salvation is forfeit
Alongside your life my friend
Ever so wicked
It has gotten to the point
Of late
That I no longer care
My efforts are slim and shallow
Fake and transparent
Sad music finally makes sense
Turning the cycle into the conclusion
That we are through
 Traitor, reaper of souls
Your own demise my recollection of lies
Here I lay broken, gone from end to port
To end up drowning in stupidity, alas my ultimate answer
And our togetherness, our misery
I could not stop the World, and words are weak
To repent, I might forgive but I shan't ever forget
Your death and my mistake
Not a sign of good-bye, good wishes for a better life
What follows next? Mother, I can only cry at night
I fear the dark and I tremble at night
I acknowledge my regrets
But I shan't ever change my ways..