dear diary,
my teeth have not grown back,
nor have I grown taller
I now, firmly, believe not to be
in fact
a vampire:
for all the godness sake
master above,
my faith in the balance has shrank
just as true as retribution does not equalize
nor neutralize lose
so do the years go by-a-bye
never to return past the horizon
just short of the retine above the lapel
we are cursed to wield for eyes
soon to discard due to old age and above all
timely decay and the conseguence of our own darn decisions
praise be caffeine solely because other
stronger drugs reverberate in a seguence
that overwhelms my weak body
and the bones shook me into a frenzy followed by a panic
I found the courage to explore the haunted house
only to realize it was cursed instead,
I now fear very little from my lot
for the burden has diminished returns
and the interest has dried up
the beast has taken flight
leaving scar and carnage in its path
now contained to memory, a poor excuse for legacy
feeling tired, inviting change
lately,
when I hear my heart
there is a disconnect in
the words I speak
a dangerous concoction inviting effigy that cannot replace
the potential of the air we breath.
I attempt and fail, miserably, to reimagine the incantations and fantasies of yesteryear
as if the darkness that separates adulthood from childhood has itself been a spell
that now fails to draw from my uncleansed soul,
at once taunting,
rejecting me.
____________________________________________________________________________
radio silence
food, cold
discarded
of wants and needs
we throw away plenty
and forget about
stubborn bruises
that simply
just do not heal
looking fatigated
of being asked
questions that seek
to undermine and dictate
the pace at which
the hand should
handshake happiness
to no alarms
nor my surprise
your mildly tilted head
serves little purpose
to placate the Dawn
to deny the call
to turn a new page
gentle gazes
will not quake
my silence
should judgement Day
arrive today
know, understand
the gates will await
shine true and hold open
for the price
that,
I have already paid.
