Orange (poorly unfortunate soul)

Did not meant to do

ditto, did not meant to end up doing

rushing, crushing deadlines quotes

outside the timely windows tight shut

tight chest goes unnoticed, crux my heart to bare

where bread grows moldy and stale

a moody vibe that comes and does not let go

Scribbles, riddles, doodles or heavier words

sentimental songs cannot scratch nor help, skeptical

this irritation, narrow and uncomfortable (paper thin)

rough dirty hard skin, a metaphor mansplained

contempt, contemplate my misery

an empty stomach and for remedy go to sleep

sew my soul and void anew, wash it yearly on my birthright mark

Cramps induce blushes and curses

remorse and dreams of insolence

chalk penny mold, shaky mediums

borrowed an pencil to use:

bookmarked a stolen book

annotated by stained inky finger-tips upon it

stinking of oranges. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Has Man; singular, patriotic and fully erect triumph against Nature

hip firm in purpose, have I, the elected sperm, materialized said purpose

unto a golden age of ash and fear, excited for an extended lockdown 

scrap my teeth off the tit, evergreen

the topicals are flush with moist as my grip grows weak

rage, vent, spew, throw a coughing fit.

I can't feel my heart, lost count, held my breath,

she didn't kill me but the silence is a mountain

whose shadow a frozen spell circumstance

will the sun raise again, can I ever peak

what does not destroy me pieces question I did not request,

but I do doubt whether I should have.  

they are not who you remember through tainted glasses

an unclear referee unafraid to get it wrong 

boy oh boy do I get shot on command

stale water that ruins the vibe

tapping enter out of spite,

matching glee on the mirror'

another one I do not know

no hard feelings, somehow neutrality weights more

a point that grown blunt, edged off

this sickness of the mind dozes me to narrow charades

growing die to let die U-turns that caffeine fails to kill

bursting out laughing when I recall I am the one supposed to remember

to know what comes next.

if I had known all along

would I tread lightly?

fall in despair?

or cry over familiar smells,

tastes bittersweet, 

make-believe is a cruel mistress that puts my mind at ease.

Is it an allergy to intimacy?

A chain reaction grown out of bounds

Disproportional to norm, etiquette or reason

a phobia, bogus and harmful to the touch

to close, too linear to approach

A crossroad at midnight minus the devil's contract

no mystical purpose, potions or otherwise magical marvels

The only marbles on sight are stones wedged in the dirt

wonderful, ever so delightful crystal green eyes

pigments in a scale inferior to the prose

a barren necessity, the essential worker of my wasteland

The fruits of which labor I co-habitat in feudal tolerance

ghosts that echo ever so loud, present only ever

to resent the seasonal nostalgia of Fall

A mirage, brokered for those whose iron harvest

blinked, evaporated, a transmutation stagnated unto fear

panic! devoured my dashed hopes of indifference unto frail nerves

temperamental, rose cheeks shoulder a knock at the door

let be heard, here, last. 

water alone cannot quell the furnace

 your throne a stool of drawn blanks

grief, pestilence and lamentable callous reproduction

extraordinary irrelevance, exemption culled at birth

grunt for speech, that the cavernous mountain of sin persists

a sign of parasitic state, a leech attached in a shared doomsday bond

a forced marriage of sorts best left unexplained

convenient at best, mere prove that destiny must be colour blind

biting frost, infernal skewered tale 

tall tab of a task to digest 

monitored granted guidance driven to the wall

pressed on or stepped upon

squash whoever became the necessary cost

balancing the karmatic scales

loaming beacon of disaster, screams of extremes

I do not need you, never did.